Page 39 of Shrouded Desires
“Bad?” Confusion filled Storm. “What do you mean bad?”
Raine shifted, then shrugged. “I get scared easily. Large groups, and wide-open spaces make me uncomfortable. So do strong emotions. When I did this...” He gestured down his body. “...it was the day I realized how easily I could fall in love with you. That you could easily leave me at the end of off season, because I wasn’t good enough to be your boy on a permanent basis.” He peeked up at Storm through his lashes. “I’m not easy. I know I’m not. I realize that I’ll always have this baggage, this urge to use pain when my self-esteem is in the shitter.” He placed a hand over Storm’s heart. “Logically I know that you said you wanted to work on having a relationship, but the voice tells me that I’ll never be worthy enough of your love. That I need to be punished for trying to rise above my station in life.” He shook his head once more. “That voice is an asshole. A persuasive one, but still an asshole.”
Storm was quiet for a moment as what his boy was saying sunk in. Raine would always have these demons. They would never be truly gone, which was why Storm was certain of the reason the boy barricaded himself inside Redemption. It was the only way he knew to cope. It would take time, and lots of reassurances from Storm to change the way that Raine saw himself. “Then I guess we need to find a way to shut the asshole up, boy.”
Raine sighed heavily. “I wish it were that easy. Meds help, but they never quiet him permanently. He waits in the wings til the meds wear off before beating on me some more.”
Storm growled in his throat. “I’m the only person allowed to beat on you, boy. Got it?” He squeezed a handful of Raine’s ass.
“Yes, Daddy.” Raine murmured snuggling closer. “Can I rest here, Daddy? I’m so tired.”
“Go ahead, boy. Snuggle close.” He flicked the blanket over Raine, then sighed as Raine curled as close as possible.
* * *
Curled up all cozy in his Daddy’s arms, Raine drifted in and out until raised voices alerted him that things weren’t as they should be.
“It’s final, Jonas. I’ve seen my knee, there’s no way I can ever play again, no matter how much rehab I do, and frankly at thirty-eight, I’m pushing it anyway. Talk to the ownership, see if they have a place for me on the team in the office. If not I’ll buy my contract out, and we’ll go our separate ways.”
“If that’s the way you want it.” Jonas seemed resigned as he handed Storm a folder. “Look it over, and let me know what you think. They’re offering six figures to be an assistant coach.”
“I will.” Storm promised, brushing a kiss over the top of Raine’s head. “As long as they’ll accept the fact that I’m a gay man. I won’t go out of my way to beat my chest about it, but I’m done hiding who I am. Besides he deserves the best I can be.”
“Understood.” Jonas’s voice sounded further away, before he bid the man to enter. “Come on it, Officer.”
Raine kept his breathing steady, but a stiffness suddenly infused his body. Storm hummed softly, his hand running up and down Raine’s back.
“What can I help you with today, Officer?” Storm kept his tone polite. “As you can see I’m a bit indisposed at the moment for autographs or interviews.”
“We still need your statement, Mr. Parker. My name is Detective Elliot Landon.” The officer’s voice was mellow and had a hint of southern in it. Obviously, a transplant. “But along with that we wanted to let you know we caught the shooter. Pure luck, but right after the shooting, he ran his rental into a light pole a few blocks over before abandoning the vehicle. The fool actually rented the car in his own name.”
“Who was it?” Storm seemed vaguely interested. “Do you need me to press charges? Or can you bring them on your own?”
“He tested positive for gun residue and the semi-automatic found in the rental had his fingerprints on it.” There was a pause. “Do you recognize this man, Mr. Parkers.”
“Yeah….I do.” Storm sounded so bewildered that Raine almost opened his eyes to crawl up and give his Daddy the best hug. “What the hell does Anton Martin have to do with any of this?”
Jonas sighed. “That’s why I was trying to get a hold of you. Once he was arrested the first time, Anton went off his rocker, and started to fixate on you. About how it wasn’t fair that he was being penalized for his tastes when yours were much worse. I told him that he needed to worry about his own ass and not yours, but no matter what I did, he wouldn’t lay off it.” He paused for a moment. “When he threatened to have you attacked, I told him I was done and walked away. That’s when I tried to get a hold of you.”
“Well, hell.” Storm seemed almost sad. “I never did anything to Anton. We were never together or anything.”
“Which is why I didn’t understand why he was always asking what you were up to when I flew out to L.A. for our meetings.”
“Jealousy. Who knows? I’ll make sure to give you my cell number so you don’t have to send Tony after me again.”
“Great!” Jonas actually sounded happy. “I never understood why you got a new cell number and never gave it to me.”
Storm groaned, the sound reverberating under Raine’s ear. “Just leave. I’m tired and want to snuggle with my man before the doctors come in to prod on me some more.”
“Okay, okay we’re going.” Jonas sounded contrite. “I’ll have Detective Landon send over any forms that need to be filled out tomorrow.”
“You do that.” Storm yawned widely. Once it was finally quiet , Storm’s hand ran down his back. “You can quit faking it now, boy. They are gone.”
Raine lifted his head to gaze up at his dominant. “Thank you, Daddy, for letting me play possum.”
He cupped the side of Raine’s face. “If that’s what it takes to keep you in my arms, you can play possum all day long, Raine.”
“Did you mean it though?”
