Page 78 of Soros
“Not with the same kind of awareness that we have. It almost feels as if… hmm…” Tambul tapped his finger against his jawbone.
“Just spit it out,” I told him.
“It feels like the difference between being a pilot and a passenger. Soros and I are the pilots of our minds with an awareness that overrules emotions and inclinations. You are a passenger with no control. Your emotions and brain chemistry control you and not the other way around. It’s highly peculiar.”
Opening my mouth to protest, I closed it again. I wasn’t sure what he meant when he spoke about the awareness that he, Soros, and all the other Descendants of Doom had.
“How do you know what it’s like for me in my brain? Maybe I’m more aware than any of you but just in a different way,” I suggested.
“If you are the pilot of your mind, then show me,” Tambul asked and without waiting for me to act, he turned his body toward the creak and twirled his finger in the air. Right away, a narrow stream of water rose and danced according to the movement of his finger. Releasing the water, he placed his hand in his lap and encouraged me, “Your turn.”
I had heard about telekinesis but never experienced it in person.
“That’s not what I meant. There are plenty of situations where I overrule my emotions. We learn to regulate our feelings as we grow up. To say that I’m a passenger with no control is incorrect.”
“You are.”
It provoked me that Tambul acted like he understood my brain better than me.
“I wonder if all humans are as temperamental as you,” he mused.
“All humans are different. Some are sensitive and emotional, and some aren’t. You can’t base your assumption of human on meeting me when I’m not even a full human. I’m a hybrid.”
“How interesting that you seem determined to detach yourself from humans. Are you ashamed of your heritage?”
“No, but I’m offended that you feel so superior to me.”
“Did I say that?” Again, Tambul tilted his head.
“You said I’m the passenger of my mind while you and Soros are captains of your minds.”
“It was merely an illustrative way of explaining the difference between us and why I find your mind so fascinating. Superior isn’t the right word. Different is better.”
“You can see why it feels degrading to Tania, can’t you?” Soros supported me.
Tambul didn’t seem the least bit bothered that I was offended. Thinking it over, I concluded that he might be able to do telekinesis and telepathy, but his empathy with someone unable to do those things wasn’t well developed.
“Let’s return to why you came here,” he said. “You want me to tell the Federation that Soros hasn’t manipulated or violated your mind in any way.”
“Yes.”
“I can’t do that.”
My eyes bulged with anger. “Why not?”
“Your mind isn’t like any other minds that I’ve encountered, Tania. Soros has guilt when it comes to you. It could be that he feels bad about things he said that hurt you, or it could be that his conscience knows that he did something wrong, such as manipulating you. I would have to have Soros share every memory related to you in order to determine if he tampered with any memory or with you. That is way too time-consuming. With you it’s harder as you haven’t mastered telepathy and therefore can’t share your memories with me. I’m not sure how to test your mind. It’s new territory for me.”
“You need to tell the Federation that Soros didn’t violate me.Please,” I begged Tambul.
“I can tell them that I saw no signs of a crime. There’s no way I can guarantee that I wouldn’t find evidence if I searched more thoroughly. I’m sure you understand my dilemma.”
I didn’t care about his dilemma and lost my temper. “If you had any sense of people, then you could tell from one glance that we’re madly in love. I want to be with Soros. End of story!”
My face was red from my explosion, which had Tambul stare at me and sigh. “Fascinating.” Turning to Soros he asked, “Does she have regular outbursts like these?”
“Yes. Tania will tell you if she’s not happy.”
“Don’t talk about me as if I’m not here. I’m not leaving before you agree to give your approval to the Federation. It’s not fair that others should decide who I get to love just because I have a bit of human blood in me.”
