Page 79 of Soros
Tambul looked thoughtful. Planting his palms on the ground behind him, he leaned back and looked up at the tall vegetation around us. Soros gave me a warning look when I opened my mouth to tell Tambul to talk to us, and it made me think that maybe Soros knew something I didn’t. Hoping that Tambul was working and not just daydreaming, I closed my mouth and waited until the Ugon Master finally pushed me too far with his long silence.
“So?”
He blinked his eyes and straightened up looking at me. “So?”
“So, what did you discover? I assume you just scanned my brain or something.”
“No. I was thinking about your unusual circumstances and how best to help you without compromising my integrity.”
“And what did you come up with?” Soros asked.
“My recommendation would be that you forget about the approval from the Federation.”
“What do you mean?” With three horizontal lines on his forehead, Soros looked confused.
“You focus too much on Tania’s human part.” Looking into my eyes, Tambul clarified, “You are as much your father’s daughter as your mother’s. You can move to Eidrona. They can’t deny you that right. Where you live is your own prerogative and how you live your life is nobody’s business but your own. There’s no need to make a big deal out of this.”
“Yes, there is. I want kids. If they find out we’ve crossbred without permission Soros could get severely punished.”
“Hmm… you might have a point. So don’t have children.”
Unable to sit still any longer, I got up on my knees and addressed Tambul in a sharp tone. “You’ve clearly never loved the way we love. Either you tell the Federation that I haven’t been violated or you help us forget each other. Creating a life on Eidrona while living in fear that any moment we could be torn apart is not sustainable.” Yesterday when Soros had mentioned that plan B, I had rejected it right away, but being agitated and angry I mentioned it anyway.
Tambul leaned back again. “It really is all or nothing with you two.”
“I would never hurt Tania,” Soros promised.
I got the feeling that Tambul weighed Soros’ promise mentally because there was a pause before he said, “I believe you.”
“Then clear Soros of the suspicion that he might have hurt me,” I demanded.
“But hedidhurt you,” Tambul pointed out. “Severely.”
My hands swung in the air, underlining my words when I begged him to understand. “The pain you sense is my human side. We feel intensely compared to other species. But if you search my mind and heart, you’ll also find that Soros has brought me extreme happiness and euphoria. The sorrow I went through was related to missing him. I got angry with Soros for not coming back without realizing that the reason he couldn’t come back was because of my stupid comment to K’rem that I wanted to erase all memories of Soros.”
Tambul pulled back a little and broke eye contact. “Your energy is intense and extreme. I’m finding it overwhelming and exhausting.”
“It can be,” Soros agreed. “But the emotional highs that humans experience are infectious and delightful. Tania breathes life and vitality into me. Being with her is the most addictive experience I’ve ever had.”
“In what way?” Tambul asked.
Soros thought about it for a second and then he said, “I’ve seen a lot of evil in my job and I’ve had to numb myself a little to cope. Tania brings me back to feeling alive again. With her it’s deep and raw. She is fierce and challenges me just as much as she loves and nurtures me. With her it’s radically different than with any woman I’ve been with. She’s not looking to have fun with me and move on. Tania wants to build her life with me. We’re teammates and support each other no matter what happens. I’ve never felt this way about anyone.” Soros hesitated before saying the last sentence softly. “She makes me feel like I’menough.”
I teared up and Tambul saw it. “Are you… crying?” he asked.
Sensing his excitement, I nodded. “Have you never seen someone crying?”
“Not in person. I’ve seen memories shared with extreme trauma that caused crying. But you’re crying just because of what Soros said.”
With my hands to my heart, I explained, “It’s because I was moved by his words.” Soros and I smiled at each other.
“Your human side is most entertaining and extraordinary. It’s also frantic compared to how I function.”
“I get it. You’re like a tortoise and I’m the bunny.”
“Hmm, I’m not sure I understand your reference but that’s not the point. My recommendation to you is that you move to Eidrona and spend time with Soros. I’ll tell the Federation that I see no signs of malignant behavior on Soros’ part. And I will add that if he has the stamina and patience to be with someone like you, he deserves respect.” Turning to Soros, Tambul continued, “I don’t recommend you moving to Earth. Despite your bond to Tania, I think you’ll regret it over time. If everyone is as emotionally unstable as her it will drain your life force.”
Feeling hurt that he called me emotionally unstable, I had to swallow my pride and accept that in his eyes, I probably was.
