Page 49 of Malliko
“Okay.” His grin disappeared. “So, is it his kink and you’re just playing along or how does it work? If you’re not into it, I don’t really want to do it, you know?”
“No… ehm… it’s sort of something we came up with together. I picked you out. Not him. I just wanted you to know that I might not be as experienced in this as you are. It sounded like you’ve been with couples before.”
“I have. It’s kinky and I really like it. I don’t know, it’s like I’m taking something that doesn’t belong to me if that makes sense.”
I nodded.
“Is your partner going to participate or will he just be watching us?”
The way he spoke like it was a done deal that we would have sex tomorrow made my spine tickle. I hadn’t had sex in years and to think that I would have it with someone as physically attractive as Lucas blew my mind and made me nervous.
“He won’t be participating. He wants to watch us.”
“Okay, sweet.” His grin was back. Bringing the phone closer to his face, he flirted: “I find you incredibly sexy, Clara.”
“Thank you.” I said but honestly, I still felt confused as to why he would say that. “Can I ask you why?”
“Why?” That made him laugh. “Go look in the mirror and you’ll see. You’ve got the cutest nose and lips that I just want to kiss and bite.”
I soaked up his compliments as he kept going, describing his attraction to my different body parts.
When we ended the video call, he sent me another text.
Lucas:I can’t wait to get my hands on you.
He had decorated his text with emojis of a purple devil, fire, and an eggplant, which I knew to be a phallic symbol.
Getting out of bed, I walked into my bathroom and with the music still playing, I did my skincare routine extra thoroughly and caught myself having more glow in my eyes and cheeks.You’re going to have sex tomorrow.
Just when I felt myself freak out a little, the feeling of lust from earlier caught up with me. If Malliko had wanted me, I would have loved to have sex with him. I hadn’t worried about a thing or been nervous when he held me down and pressed himself against me. All I had been able to feel and think in that moment was a big “Yes.”
If I was lucky, Lucas would give me the same feeling tomorrow.
Applying my moisturizer, I screwed the lid back on and watched the woman in the mirror who looked different from a week ago. Trying to pinpoint the difference, I realized that maybe it wasn’t that I was different, but that I saw something new in my reflection.
How many times had I glanced in the mirror and disliked what I saw? Every time I would focus on what I wanted to change and be discouraged that I wasn’t the young and skinny version of myself that I used to be.
I still wasn’t young or skinny. That part hadn’t changed.
Watching my heavy breasts, for once I didn’t feel sad that they weren’t as perky as they used to be. They still had volume and when Malliko massaged my breasts he had clearly enjoyed it.
Opening the kimono, I trailed my fingers over the stretchmarks from my pregnancy with the twins. They were fainter now but still visible.
Your body is sensual, soft and sexy.Malliko’s words from earlier came back to me and I tried to see myself that way, but years of harsh internal judgments weren’t that easy to throw aside.
“Be brave,” I whispered to the mirror. “Be naughty and forget about what others may think.”
A shot fired from outside made me jerk back. It was followed by a car alarm and shouting. As always when that sort of thing happened around here, I stayed inside and prayed that no one was hurt.
By the time the police sirens came around, I was back in bed with the lights out, mentally reliving the most erotic massage of my life.
CHAPTER 16
Field Work
Malliko
Tania was disturbed when I told her about my research project with Clara.
