Page 59 of Malliko
“Maybe he’s a pleaser.”
“Could be, but he’s quite dominant at other times.” I stopped myself before I continued down that path. “It doesn’t matter. He’s history now and I need to focus on someone else who deserves my attention. He did boost my confidence, so I guess I should be grateful for that.”
“That’s the spirit,chica. Find the positive and then go pick another match.”
This time my sigh was drawn out. “The thought of chatting with strangers doesn’t excite me that much. I wish I could skip to the part where I could feel sated after good sex.”
Carmen gave a small laugh. “Don’t we all. If you get tired of dating and want to embrace your physical needs, there’s always another option.”
“I know, but masturbation isn’t the same.”
“That’s not what I meant. You could do what Carina does.”
“Your little sister, Carina?”
“Yes, you know how bad she got burned from her divorce. She’s not ready to let another man into her heart.”
“Really, but she went on dates. I remember you telling me.”
“True. In the beginning she tried, but she had too many horrible dates to count. Besides, with her only having a few nights off from the kids a month, she hired a guy to fill her needs.”
“She pays for sex?” I couldn’t hide my surprise.
“Yes. That way she’s in control and her heart doesn’t get confused.”
I chewed on that piece of information for a moment before declaring, “Even if I had the money, I don’t think I could do that. Carina was always a bit more hardcore than us.”
“I know. By the way, you got to keep it secret. I’m only telling you about her solution to help you.”
“You can trust me. I won’t tell a soul.”
“Good. If you don’t want to date men but skip to the feeling of being sated after sex, you could visit a club.”
“A sex club?” My tone rose a little.
“Only if you want to.”
“You’re out of your mind. I would never have the nerve to go to a place like that alone.”
There was a smile in Carmen’s tone. “I doubt that you would be alone for long. Carina says that it’s a massive confidence boost to go into a sex club and that women hold all the power.”
“Why am I not surprised that your sister has been to a place like that? Isn’t it just one big orgy?”
“You don’t have to do anything if you don’t want to. If we lived closer, we could go together. I’ve always been curious.”
“Then go with Carina.”
Carmen laughed. “No thanks. I love my sister, but I don’t want to see her in lingerie, flirting with men.”
Getting up from my couch, I walked into my kitchen. Pulling a bottle of wine from the fridge, I registered that I hadn’t had wine for the past two days. “I get that. I don’t even think I would want to see you in a situation like that. Tell you what, I promise to consider a club as an option.”
When we ended the call a little later, my head felt like a grenade had exploded and nothing made sense anymore. I wondered if I would ever see Malliko again. I hadn’t known him for long, so why did I feel like losing him was a massive sense of loss?
Standing with the bottle of wine in my left hand looking into my cabinet with wineglasses, I opted to leave the wine alone and go hide in my bed instead. I needed to end this day and hopefully wake up to a much better day tomorrow.
CHAPTER 18
Rules of the Federation
