Page 35 of Malliko
“Lucinda reminds me of a woman who my ex-husband Jeremy lives with now.”
“You don’t like her.”
I wrinkled my nose. “Nooo, I don’t like her. She wrecked our family and pushed me into a black hole.” Emotions welled up inside me. “There are days when I hate Shanice.” My head fell forward, and my hand squeezed the banister of the staircase. “And him. Most of all I hate Jeremy for ruining my life.”
As I said it, I regretted being so vulnerable and weak with Malliko, whom I’d only known for a few days. I didn’t want him to tell me that I gave Jeremy too much power or that Shanice couldn’t have wrecked our family if we’d been truly happy. But he didn’t say any of that. Instead, he stepped closer and hugged me.
The feeling of his hard chest and strong arms holding me tight felt more soothing than all the buckets of ice-cream that I had consumed since the divorce.
It wasn’t a quick little hug with a pat on my shoulder like the hugs my brother and father would give me. Malliko held on to me and gave me the feeling that he was in no hurry to break the hug. It had been years since I had been held like this and in that moment, I realized how much I missed physical closeness. With him standing only one step below me, I leaned my head on his shoulder and hugged him back. Except for quick hugs with family members, I hadn’t been physically close to any man since Jeremy. Malliko’s masculine scent and strength brought back the longing for closeness that I had denied myself for so long.
When I finally broke the hug, I looked up and thanked him, “I think I needed that.”
“Anytime.”
We began ascending the stairs side by side. I couldn’t stop myself from asking, “What did she whisper in your ear?”
Malliko didn’t pretend he didn’t know whom I was talking about but answered right away. “Lucinda expressed her sympathy with me being in a long-distance relationship and offered her company.”
I snorted. “I figured that much.”
We walked up to the third landing before I couldn’t hold in my question any longer. “So, are you going to take Lucinda up on her offer?” I don’t know what possessed me to be vulgar, but the next line bypassed my inner filter. “I bet you want to fuck her, don’t you?”
Malliko didn’t get upset but tilted his head and seemed to consider the thought. “Not really. I mean I was flattered, but she’s not really my type.”
I gaped at him. “Lucinda is every man’s type, Malliko. The men here always line up to dance with her at the yearly Christmas party.”
He shrugged and it made me conclude that he really was more of an asexual type of man or maybe… the thought occurred to me that Malliko might very well be a homosexual man who hadn’t yet come to terms with that part of his personality.
Either way, I liked his calm presence and soaked up his interest in me. Why he wasn’t attracted to women was really no concern of mine, but a small suspicion took root. Maybe his fiancée was more of a front to keep interested women away than a real connection.
“How often do you talk to Tania?”
“Every day.”
“Are you going to tell her that Lucinda offered you sex?”
“I might.”
“What do you think she’ll say?” I asked and couldn’t comprehend his lack of emotion around telling his partner something that would cause uncertainty in most women.
“She won’t mind. She said it would happen and that women here can be quite aggressive in their way of approaching men that they are interested in.”
“Are women less aggressive in Lichtenstein?”
Malliko tilted his head from side to side as if thinking hard. “Where I come from the culture is different. Our women are more concerned with personal development and pursuing fulfilling careers than they are with flirting. They are mature and offer an incredible sense of connection. The physical part just isn’t as important to them, I suppose.”
“What about you and Tania? Don’t you have sex?”
We had reached the fourth floor and Malliko opened the door for me. “That’s a little difficult with us not living together.”
“Oh, I see. Do you mean because of the distance or is it a religious thing – that you want to wait until after the marriage?”
I didn’t blame Malliko for not answering. We were back among my coworkers and would have to save our private conversation for another time.
As we walked down the aisle between the cubicles, I looked up at the clock on the wall that showed it was half past twelve. In four and a half hours, I would be on my first date since I was a senior in high school. The thought was nauseating but then I looked up at the tall man next to me and felt grateful that I didn’t have to do this alone.
CHAPTER 11
