Page 55 of The Heir
My fingers circled her knee as I thought about it. “I would have been respectful and made you feel appreciated.”
“That’s nice.”
“I wished that I’d seduced you that day on the beach.”
Linea put her hand on top of mine. “That would have been impossible.”
“Why? You must have cared about me to some degree, or you wouldn’t have gone through all that trouble to find me.”
“You said it yourself: you were in pain that day. Your mindset was hostile and defensive. For you to seduce me would have required you to open up and be vulnerable to my potential rejection.”
I stopped circling her knee. “True.”
“Thor, there’s something I should tell you about how I found you.”
“Ah, are you going to tell me that my parents had a tracking device implanted in my dogs? I always suspected the part about finding me through energy work was a hoax.”
Linea pulled her knees to her chest and wrapped her arms tightly around them. “I’m going to ignore that you said that. What I meant was that in order for me to track you, I asked to touch some of your personal belongings. Freya took me to your room, and I was there with her and Sparrow. We didn’t break anything, but I touched your personal items in order to connect with your energy.”
“What personal items?”
“Your pillow mainly.”
“Oh. Hmm… all right.”
“The thing is… when I sat in your room with your pillow in my arms, I was overwhelmed with a deep feeling of sadness and a persistent thought.”
It wasn’t hard to imagine Linea in my bed with her eyes closed and my pillow in her arms. It was a pleasant idea.
“And then there was a trail of energy to a place under your mattress where I found drawings.”
I paled. “You found my drawings?”
“Yes. You are talented of course, but the darkness and despair in them was disturbing and supported the persistent thought that I had already picked up on. I’m sorry for asking you such an uncomfortable question, but Thor… did you have suicidal thoughts before you left?”
It was something I’d never discussed with anyone. Right away, my mouth turned downward, and my brow lowered like a castle gate preparing for an attack. “No, of course not.”
“Thor, I know that you’re a proud Nman and that you want to portray yourself as invincible to the world, but you don’t have to do that with me.”
“I was never suicidal.”
Linea looked down.
With my skin prickling as if ants had invaded the sofa, I got up. “Can’t we focus on what happened between us? That kiss has to mean something. We need to talk about you moving to the Northlands.”
“No.” Linea’s statement came out soft and was followed by her moving to stand in front of me.
“But I just told you that I have feelings for you.”
“I’m flattered, but you’re jumping five steps ahead here. We don’t know each other well enough for you to ask me to move to the Northlands.”
“Then give me time to show you who I am.”
Her penetrating stare made me pause and wait for her to speak.
“Thor… I doubt you even know yourself. It feels like whenever I’m with you, I’m meeting a new part of your personality. Your constant mood swings and energy shifts are hard for me to keep up with. You forget that I sense when you’re not honest, and your lies feel like a rejection.”
Frustrated that she was making things difficult, I argued, “So what if I had a fleeting thought of suicide? It’s not like I would ever do it. I don’t want you to see me as weak. Is that so wrong?”
