Page 89 of Maximum
“But I don’t like it when you get jealous.”
My shoulders sank until I reminded myself that she hadn’t said that she couldn’t see a future for us or that she was breaking up.
“I’m going to change. I promise. I’ll get it under control.”
“How? I don’t go out often, but I want to be able to meet new people and talk to strangers, men or women. I never touched any of those men in there and I didn’t come here tonight to find a substitute for you. If I’m not mistaken, they were all married anyway. Jolene is right; we have to be able to trust each other and I have no interest in a stifling relationship again. I did that with Pierre.”
A scoff escaped me. “The man encouraged you to get pregnant with a stranger. It’s hardly the same situation.”
“He was trying to control me and what I’m saying is that I’m not about to let that happen again.”
I pulled her in for a hug feeling her hands hold on to my back. “I’m not trying to control you, but I won’t share you either.”
“I’m not asking you to share me, at least not with other men.”
Pulling back a little, I frowned. “Is there something you want to tell me? Are you interested in women?”
“No. You misunderstand. You’ll be sharing me with the animals on the farm, the workers who need my guidance, and hopefully one day our children.”
The physical rush of hearing her talk about us having children released relief and made my stomach feel like a washing machine on a spin cycle.
Hugging her tight again, I whispered against her ears, “I’m ready to have those children when you are.”
We were interrupted when Jolene and the others came out of the pub and approached us.
“Kate called,” Nellie said. “Rose woke up.”
“I need to get back to her,” Jolene added.
“No problem. I can take you.” Releasing Fleur from my hold I looked at her. “Are you staying or coming with us?”
To my relief she chose the latter.
Fleur took the workers in her car while Jolene drove with me.
“Are you two good?” she asked me as we left Limerick.
“Yes, I think so. For now.”
“That sounds ominous. Are you expecting more trouble between you?”
“I hope not, but it’s my bloody jealousy. I was about ten seconds from knocking out a guy for putting his arm around Fleur. You’re a psychologist, so tell me how do I get past feeling so possessive and jealous? It’s ruined relationships in the past and I’m terrified I’m going to screw up things with Fleur as well. She’s the best thing that ever happened to me.”
“What do you think? You must have some theories. What has helped in the past?”
“I’m thinking it will fade once we get married and especially once we have children together. That way we’re committed to each other. You said it yourself, once she has a ring on her finger other men can see that she’s taken.”
Jolene pulled a leg up under her and turned in her seat to look at me. “Maximum, I want you to listen to me very carefully.”
“I’m listening.
“Fleur can marry you and be faithful to you for twenty years, but it won’t make a difference. You might still have a major fit of jealousy in the future that ruins everything between you. Jealousy is a symptom and not the real root problem. As you know, treating symptoms is like putting buckets to catch the water that’s dripping through the roof. What you need to do is find the root of the problem, which is to fix the leaking roof.”
“Alright, so what’s the root cause of my jealousy?”
“I already told you. Jealousy is linked to a lack of self-esteem.”
“I thought it was because of my history. I saw my mother getting cheated on constantly, and I’ve had girlfriends cheat on me in the past.”
