Page 60 of Maximum
“What?”
I was on my way out of the room when I heard his voice. Changing direction, I walked around the bed and found him sitting with his back against the white wall next to a set of French doors. The expression on his face was somber.
“I didn’t see you for the bed.”
He didn’t answer me but turned his head to look out the glass door where all the animals had been this morning.
“I’m sorry.” Squatting down in front of him, I sunk all the way to sit on the floor. “I get it.”
“What do you get?”
“You feel like you’re making the same mistake with me that your mother made with your father. You feel like you’re giving me everything and I don’t want you.”
“You should add to your website that you can read humans too.” His tone was dismissive, and he raised his knees up as if they would protect his heart.
“Am I wrong?”
He hesitated before mumbling, “It feels like this week is my only chance. In a few days you’re going back to the farm and I’ll be nothing but a short fling to you. We live three bloody hours apart so I can’t just drop by to say hi, can I?”
Sitting on the floor in front of him, I moved into a more comfortable position with my legs crossed, thinking about how to respond. “You know, Max, when I first met you, I thought you were a celebrity like your sister.”
His eyes met mine with a questioning look. “Why?”
“You’re very attractive and with your physique, I just assumed that you were an actor or a sports star. I’m chronically out of the loop when it comes to famous people in Britain, but I can tell when someone is gorgeous and charismatic, and you were both of those things. I could tell that you were flirting with me, and I was flattered, but I guess…” I trailed off.
“What?”
“I don’t know… I just stopped thinking of myself that way a while ago and then there was the matter of your age.”
He groaned and looked away.
“I get that you’re afraid of being in a relationship where the other person won’t commit, but I have my own issues to battle. My fear is the loss of autonomy. It’s taken me a long time to be independent and I don’t want to lose that. I’m not interested in a man controlling or limiting me, and with your jealousy, Max… well, I worry that it could show up as possessiveness and that you wouldn’t trust me to teach or travel.”
“I would never limit you,” he muttered low, still looking away.
“Good, because unlike what you might think, I don’t have local lovers and I don’t sleep with the men who work on my farm. Most are younger than me and I always keep our relationship professional. I’m not even sure how you managed to break through the wall that I’d so carefully built around me, but you did.”
“I did?” Maximum’s head turned and his deep brown eyes were burning with hope as they met mine.
“I thought that we could keep things casual between us and see where it goes, but after experiencing your raw pain today I understand that’s not possible.”
With another groan, Maximum’s head fell forward and his hands covered his face. From the way he heaved in air, I could tell he was suffering and I wanted to ease the situation, but before I could continue, he spoke.
“I’ve been sitting here thinking about how you’re the universe’s punishment for all the times I’ve wriggled myself out of defining a relationship like I was a fucking eel. Now the roles have turned on me.”
“Max… I should have told you earlier but it’s hard for me too.” Reaching out, I tugged at his hand to get him to look at me.
When he finally did, I saw him blinking away moisture. “I’m in love with you too.”
The triangle that formed between his eyes showed his surprise.
“When we make love, I feel connected to you and when we talk, I feel like I can trust you. You asked me to take a chance on love, but I wasn’t ready, and I don’t like feeling pushed.”
“And now?” There was such hope in his voice.
I lifted my hand to his cheek. “It’s all going too fast for my liking, but I can’t stand to see you hurt because of my issues. If you need us to put a label on our relationship, then I’m okay with that. I don’t want you to think that we’re anything like your parents.”
Maximum reached out his hands to me and pulled me into his lap, burying his head against my hair while hugging me tightly. “You mean that?”
