Page 38 of The Outcast
“Would you fuck a robot?”
“Ehh… well, ehm…” I looked to Aubri and Indiana and back to Banni. “Sex toys are normal here since… you know, we don’t have extramarital sex.”
“Yeah, but why don’t you? Except for Keith all the male candidates seem fine with the idea that they won’t be marrying the women they’ll have sex with in France. Why couldn’t you experiment with Nmen before you decide who to marry?”
I stared at him. We’d had this exact same conversation last night. Was he probing the waters to see if Indiana and Aubri would suggest that I use Banni to experiment on? In that case he didn’t know them very well. “I’ve heard too many horror stories from Solo about the women who tried that. He used to work on the Doom Squad before he took over after Magni. Nmen go crazy with jealousy. One even killed his wife when he found out that she was leaving him.”
“Who is Solo again?” Banni asked.
“My older brother,” Aubri said. “He’s a phenomenal fighter and works for Khan and my father as the commander of the Northlands.”
“So, you’re saying that you would never dare sleep with any Nman because you don’t trust that he could keep his emotions out of the sex?”
I moved in my seat. “Maybe there are some who could, but if I were to sleep around like that, who would want to marry me?”
“Is sexual experience seen as a bad thing?” Banni asked.
Indiana groaned. “It’s complicated. We men have sex with sex-bots from the time we’re teenagers. If we didn’t our country would be at constant war. Our women however… well, it’s sort of tradition that they’re virgins on their wedding night.”
“Why?”
“You want your wife untouched.”
Banni sucked in a deep breath and closed his eyes. “That’s stupid. What is so appealing about a virgin? That’s like saying you’d prefer to have a newly trained doctor than an experienced one. Don’t you agree that people get better with experience?”
“That’s a weird comparison. In matters of the heart experience can sometimes mean trauma and cynicism. A virgin loves with an open heart. She hasn’t suffered disappointments from fake promises.”
We all stared at Indiana, who added, “I read that somewhere.”
“But we’re not talking about matters of the heart. We’re talking about sex. What will it take for you to separate the two?” Banni asked.
Yes, he was definitely pushing for his dream scenario which had to be sex without a commitment, but just like me, Indiana and Aubri didn’t follow his reasoning. After the two of them exchanged a quick glance, Aubri declared, “We’ll never separate the two.”
“In a way,” I said in a soft voice that was shaking a tiny bit from my racing heartbeat, “I feel a bit sorry for you, Banni. You talk about our immaturity but at least we’re allowed to love someone. I can’t imagine living my life without love. You have all these strategies to keep love at bay, but what if love trumps sex?”
“Nothing trumps sex,” Banni claimed without meeting my eyes.
“Hmm, I would say nothing trumps sex with someone you love,” Indiana said.
Aubri tilted her head from side to side. “Except, what if you marry someone who is horribly bad at sex?”
With a snort, Indiana leaned back and stared at his wife. “Are you trying to tell me something?”
“No, you idiot, I’m not talking about us. We’re obviously superstars, but isn’t it possible that some people suck at sex?”
“I’ve been with lousy sex partners,” Banni admitted.
Aubri tickled Indiana’s chin. “See. Not everyone gets to be as lucky as you and marry their soulmate who is better than a sex-bot.”
Indiana kissed her neck and then he turned his attention back to Banni. “All I’m saying is that if you’re such a fan of experience and open-mindedness, then why don’t you try a sex-bot to see what it’s like?”
Banni took another sip of his wine. “I prefer to be with a real woman.” He didn’t look at me, but under the table, his foot touched mine.
His subtle message that he wanted to sleep with me made my stomach flutter with those damn butterflies that always seemed to invade my body when he was around. Their fluttering wings pushed warm energy around my veins and feeling hot, I took off my scarf. After the sadness I felt last night, I should ignore Banni’s advances, but my foot pushed against his. Exploring my sexuality with him had been a powerful and beautiful experience. At the same time, it had left me in a feeling of despair that the man I’d fallen in love with would never be more to me than a flirtation.
All through dinner, Banni and I conversed with Aubri and Indiana while playing a game with our feet under the table, seeking a connection that we both knew was unwise.
“It took me a long time before I understood why so many people that I knew in France had the same last name,” Aubri explained. “It’s because the last name refers to the year they were born.”
