Page 25 of The Outcast
“Where? In a tent where someone might hear us? In the forest where it’s cold and wet?” Shaking my head, I gave him a sad smile. “It’s a nice fantasy, but I’m smart enough to know that if I made love to you, I’d fall in love.”
He moved closer and spoke quickly and insistently. “No, you wouldn’t. You’d know that it could never be more than sex.”
I didn’t correct Banni but just walked on. Correcting him would mean telling him that for me our kiss had been enough to make me fall for him. I wanted nothing more than to make love to him, but Aubri would be right. If I did, he would surely break my heart.
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CHAPTER 8
Exploration
Banni
To think that Victor had thought he was punishing me by sending me to the Northlands was a joke. Not that everything was perfect, of course, but I got to work with recruits who were striving for my recognition and praise. They were respectful and even showed admiration, which was a new experience in itself.
And then there was my friendship with Sparrow. Sometimes, I would catch myself watching her for no reason. At home when I felt attracted to a woman, I made my move, fucked her, and moved on. It was uncomplicated and predictable, but with Sparrow I couldn’t do that. Our mutual attraction hung in the air like a chain of electricity sparked by every little touch or smile.
I lusted for her and when no one was watching I flirted with her, but there was never any release. It wasn’t as if I hadn’t experienced rejections before. Just never from a woman where there was mutual attraction between us. I had enough experience with women to see that Sparrow burned for me just as much as I did for her. I knew it and it was driving me mad to pretend contentment as her friend when I was dying to be physical with her.
Almost two weeks into the training, I woke up one night to see Aubri sneaking out of the tent around one in the morning.
Thinking that she was just going to relieve her bladder, I didn’t ask her where she was going, but then I sensed light outside and opened the tent opening to see one of the drones take off.
The rush of excitement that I was now alone with Sparrow made me turn on the lantern and shake her a little while calling her name. “Sparrow.”
“Mm-hmm, what is it?” she asked with her eyes still closed.
“Aubri left. She took one of the drones.”
Sparrow lifted her head. “She did what?”
“She left without saying a word and took one of the drones.”
With a large yawn, Sparrow sat up. “She misses Indy. He’s a twenty-minute flight away, and I’ll bet she’s hoping to sneak back in here in the morning and pretend that she never left at all. To be honest, I’m happy she’s going to him because she’s been cranky and testy all day.”
“Hmm. She just needs a good lay and then she’ll be fine again.”
Sparrow turned on her side. “You think sex solves everything.”
“No. But it’s hard to live in celibacy when you’re used to having sex. I would know.”
“Indy hasn’t even been gone four days.”
“That’s a long time for those two.”
“Why? I haven’t seen them have sex while we’ve been here.”
I smiled at her naivete and went back to my sleeping bag, facing Sparrow propped up on my elbow. “They have sex at least two or three times a day.”
Her eyes widened. “That’s impossible. We would know.”
“You’re a heavy sleeper so you don’t notice them slipping out of the tent.”
“But where would they go?”
“They’ve used the drone a lot and the woods. One time I even think they had quiet sex in here while we slept, or rather while you slept.
“There’s no way Aubri would have sex right next to me.”
