Page 95 of The Ruler
“Boulder.” I froze at the sound of a female voice and lifted my eyes to see Christina standing by a group of small needle trees behind him. My eyes immediately searched for Pearl, but Christina was alone.
Boulder looked at me, silently asking me if I had heard it too. I could tell his eyes were red and in that moment I hated him. All he had to do was turn his head to see his woman walking slowly toward him while mine was out of my reach.
“Christina?” His voice dripped with disbelief as he turned his body and faced Christina, who stood insecure and made herself small. She was scared of us and her fear was justified. Boulder ran to pick her up and the two of them were torturing my eyeballs with their kissing and hugging, so I looked away, walking with sunken shoulders back to Magni’s drone.
Finn and Magni followed me and showed empathy by keeping their mouths shut as we left the two lovers to take Boulder’s drone back.
“Boulder just send me a message,” Finn said softly after we’d been flying back for about ten minutes. “Pearl left a message to you with Christina. He’s sending it to you right now.”
I nodded, keeping up the cool façade that I had practiced to perfection with my father.
“Khan, maybe…” Finn said when we arrived at the Manor, but he was stopped by Magni, who placed a hand on his shoulder and muttered, “Let him go.”
Last time I had walked down the hall to my suite I had naïvely thought I would be married to Pearl within twenty-four hours. Now, I doubted I would ever see her again. The council members weren’t stupid. They knew Magni had kidnapped Athena and that somewhere there was a breach in their border. They would make sure Pearl was secured and untraceable.
I could attack them, but Pearl wouldn’t approve and we were outnumbered by far.
The message, I slid to the floor and rested my back against my bed, bringing up the message that Boulder had forwarded from Christina. Pearl’s face projected up in front of me. The sight of her serious blue eyes and long blonde hair made me swallow hard. I wanted to reach my hand behind her neck and pull her in for a kiss. I wanted her to be real and not a hologram projected by light in the air.
“Khan, I know the council made demands and that you discussed them with Magni, Finn, and Boulder. It’s not their opinion you should worry about. It’s mine.”
She smiled with sadness. “I understand that you want to protect me and us. But ultimately the decision has to be mine.
“Christina will take me to the border and if you love me at all, I ask that you forgive her. You would do the same for one of your friends, and I’ll never forgive you if she is punished for helping me.” She sighed and looked down. “This isn’t a goodbye.” Pearl choked up a little but lifted her face again. “And I meant it when I said that I love you. Iwillcome back, Khan. That’s my promise to you.”
The message ended and silence filled the room again. The pressure in my chest made me feel like someone was blowing up a balloon in my insides and my ribs were cracking.
My father had been right. I had grown up to be a complete failure. My people were laughing at my brother because his wife had left him and I hadn’t been able to get her back. Now the woman I was supposed to marry was gone too and it was all because the council in the Motherlands had me by the balls. No wonder rebels were stirring in the shadows when I was nothing but a fucking fool for thinking I could rule the world. My nose started running and I dried it with the back of my hand, pulling my legs up and lowering my head.I can’t even control the people around me.
There are people who cry ugly, and I was one of them. The strain of holding back the humiliating tears that my father had hated so much and beaten out of me as a child made my face spasm like a desperate gatekeeper trying to hold back a crowd of emotions that wanted through.
I fought hard, but more than fifteen years of suppressed emotions wanted out and in the end I rolled up in a fetal position on the floor and cried my eyes out like a fucking Momsi boy.
CHAPTER 22
Place of Reflection
Pearl
My mother stood silently by the door observing me from a distance.
I tilted my head and narrowed my eyes. “Are you afraid of me?” I asked, not hiding my sarcasm. “Do you think Khan corrupted me and turned me into a violent person who might attack you?”
“No,” she said, but I didn’t believe her.
“Then maybe it’s shame that keeps you from coming closer,” I mocked, not caring that my improper communication wasn’t helpful to my situation.
“I’m shocked to see you this unbalanced,” Isobel said with sadness.
“You should be. You’re to blame.”
Her brows drew close together. “Pearl, be reasonable.”
“Reasonable?” I could feel my nostrils flare in suppressed anger. “I came back to explain myself to the council and you lock me up instead. How is that reasonable?”
“It’s for your own good. The staff here are very kind and with meditation and time, you’ll be back to seeing things clearly again.”
I stood up and moved closer to her. “Did you think about what I told you?”
