Page 97 of The Ruler
“Ooh, I’m sorry to hear that.” She empathetically rubbed my upper arm in a soothing manner. “But a nice little breather in here does everyone good. You’ll see.”
“You’re right, I’m just going to enjoy my day off and prepare for tomorrow.”
“What happens tomorrow?” she asked.
“I’m returning to my work in the council.”
“I’m so glad to hear that you’re in a positive state of mind, but just so you know, most people stay for at least a few weeks and your mother seemed to think you needed a long break.”
My throat burned but I managed to keep a calm and kind voice. “Yes, I’m sure my mom gave you a different impression, but as I said, she worries and she can be a little confused sometimes.” I waved a hand dismissively. “She means no harm.”
“No, I’m sure she doesn’t. Feel free to walk in the garden or meet up with some of the other guests. We have a singer here at the moment and she likes to perform after dinner, if you’re interested.”
“How lovely,” I said, sugar-sweet, and smiled until she left my room.
Khan had been right. After spending time with him, I saw everything differently and the sweetness felt suffocating to me. Not that I preferred the men’s swearing, but there had to be a way to create a middle ground.
A long break?It shouldn’t have surprised me, since lots of people spent months in places of reflection, but I didn’t belong here and I needed to explain that to the council.
If only they would listen!
CHAPTER 23
Making a Point
Pearl
Seven days!
I wasted seven days pretending to be “timeless happy” before I was finally declared “balanced” enough to return to my own apartment. To get to that point I had to show only positivity, and it sucked!
“I’m so happy you finally see that bringing you home was the right thing to do,” Isobel told me when she came to bring me back to my own place.
My endless hours of meditating had resulted in one good thing. I had forgiven her.
My mother wasn’t a bad person. Nor was she as evolved as I had given her credit for. But my rants about her not being evolved for not accepting the Nmen were kind of hypocritical if I couldn’t accept her in spite of her ignorance.
“Before you go in,” she said when she dropped me off, “I should tell you that it was a video that Christina sent to the council that made them want to see you today.”
“Oh?”
“The council had originally given you a leave of absence for four months to find yourself.”
“Four months?” My belly twisted at the thought of my spending one more day in that place, but seriously – four months?
“Yes, I felt like you needed a longer break to process everything you’ve been through.”
I nodded and opened the door, because if I spoke right now, something unpleasant would come out.
“You have a few hours before the meeting. I’m joining from my office, but you can just do it from your room.” Her words were redundant. I already knew this and lifted my hand to wave goodbye before I closed the door and walked into my building, hardly noticing the gorgeous colors of the vertical garden on the façade.
Four months– my mom had been willing to let me waste four months in that place. I was shocked.
My room felt small and strangely unfamiliar to me, as if I had outgrown my old life. But I didn’t want to bike to my office downtown and face my staff.
Instead, I read up on summaries from the last council meetings to see what had been said about me.
Stockholm syndrome, brainwashed, loss of critical sense, corrupted, and self-destructive were a few of the words that made me pale.
