Page 74 of The Ruler
“Yes, what about it?” I asked, looking back at him.
“The truth is,” he breathed, “it feels strange and intimate to me and the only woman…” He paused again and looked away as if regretting his words.
I walked back, waiting for him to continue. “The only woman you what?”
He frowned. “Never mind, you wouldn’t understand.”
“Tell me anyway,” I pressed.
“We men of the north…” Khan’s Adam’s apple bobbed. “We’re different from you.” He pulled his hands from his pockets and crossed his arms. “You go to sex clubs and have casual sex partners. We don’t!” Khan looked partly pissed and partly pained as he shifted his balance. “The highest prize for us is to marry and be blessed with a woman in our life.Onewoman, Pearl.”
I didn’t speak but my mind was analyzing and trying to make sense of what he was saying. Was he still upset that I hadn’t been a virgin? That was just ridiculous.
“Look, tomorrow you’ll be gone, so maybe it doesn’t matter if you know.”
“Know what?” My heart was pounding in my chest.
“That I wasn’t trying to intentionally be rude to Kya. I just… “His tongue flicked out to wet his lips. “Well, theonlywoman I feel comfortable with holding my hands and staring into my eyes is you, Pearl.”
I took a step back and swallowed hard. “But you said that you’d prefer a sex-bot over me.”
He closed his eyes, rubbing the bridge of his nose. “Yeah, but I say a lot of stupid shit.”
“What about the part about my being stiff as a board?”
“Another perfect example,” Khan muttered softly.
My eyes were flickering around as too many thoughts fought for my attention.
“Maybe we could both ask Kya questions,” Khan suggested and I realized he had moved to the door.
“Yes.”
“Should we get started?” he asked, waiting for me.
“I’m sorry, but I just need a minute,” I said and he quietly closed the door.
He feels bonded to me and he wants me to look into his eyes and hold his hands.
No, wait, he didn’t say that exactly.
I reversed and played the conversation again and again, not sure how to interpret what he had told me.
For the first time since I’d arrived I was completely blank on how to proceed from here.
My normally capable mind didn’t have the answers and no matter how much I rationally analyzed the situation I only became more confused.
It was like my heart and my head were dancing the worst tango in history with both of them wanting to lead. Two dancers pulling in different directions, making for a bumpy dance.
Forgetting about time and place, I processed my options, over and over. The solution that my heart rooted for, my brain shut down immediately. The odds were too big and a wrong move could be catastrophic.
“Pearl, are you coming?” Christina’s voice pulled me out of my deep thoughts. “We’ve been waiting half an hour for you.”
What?Half an hour – had I really been thinking for that long?
Putting on a smile for show, I followed her into a beautiful sunroom where Kya and Khan waited for me.
“I’m sorry,” I said and took a seat. “I got a little distracted.”
