Page 53 of The Ruler
“You happened,” she said and hurried under the cover, fluffing her pillow.
“I happened?” I pointed at my chest. “Is that why you’re punching that pillow as if it was my face? You want to hit me, don’t you?”
“I would never,” she said but stopped herself. We both knew she had slapped me once.
Propping myself up on my elbow, I asked her something that had been on my mind for a while. “How does it feel?”
“How does what feel?” she asked and lay down stiffly as far from me as she could get.
“How does it feel to condemn everything I stand for and yet feel yourself slipping down my dark path?”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” she said.
“You raise your voice when you find me insufferable. You slapped me once, and have scolded me often. You even roll your eyes when you think I’m not watching and lately I’ve seen you resort to sarcasm.”
“So?”
I laughed and placed my hand closer to her. “You know that Lucifer used to be an angel, right?”
“Yes, I’m familiar with the Christian mythology. I know who Lucifer was,” she said.
Smiling my most charming smile, I moved closer to her. “What if I manage to corrupt you so much that you can’t go back?”
“That’s not possible,” she said and looked down at my hand, which was now touching her waist on top of the cover.
“What if going back you find peopletoopolite andtootedious with all their talk about kindness?” I grinned. “You might be surprised that the men look feminine to you after months with me. And it’s very possible that you would regret it deeply if you didn’t allow yourself to feel what being with me would feel like.”
To my surprise Pearl didn’t move away when I slid my hand higher. She just stopped it by placing her own on top of mine.
“I thought about it,” she said and that momentarily shut me up. Geez, this woman kept surprising me.
“Sometimes when you masturbate, I get curious.”
My heart started running in circles and there was a sudden uncertainty in my chest. I’d been prepared to push her a little and maybe steal a kiss, but what would I do if she actually agreed to have sex with me? I didn’t have any experience except with sex-bots and my right hand – the thought of being with Pearl was both thrilling and nerve-wracking. What if I embarrassed myself?
“If we actually did have sex…” she said softly and turned her face to look at me with grave eyes. “I think it would complicate our relationship, and there’s too much on the line. What if you wanted more and I didn’t, or vice versa? I know enough about passion to understand that it complicates things between men and women. I could become a clingy woman who wanted your attention all the time. Doesn’t that scare you?”
I pulled back a little.
“Or what if I left you like Laura left Magni? Would you bear the fury and humiliation better than him?”
“You can’t leave me when you’re a hostage,” I said.
She looked away, and the same gnawing feeling grew in me that I had felt before.
“Pearl, why do I get the feeling you don’t take this hostage thing very seriously?”
“I don’t know.”
“You know I can keep you for as long as I want, right?” My voice grew lower, and gruffer, because I realized she was fucking doing it again.
I had moved closer to her hoping for a kiss, but she was using her words to mess with my mind and make me doubt that I wanted to get involved with her.
Fuck!The alpha in me wanted to remind her that she was the hostage andIwas in control.
“Not only can I keep you, but I can kiss you too.”
She pushed at my naked chest when I rolled on top of her and spread her legs with my knees. “Get off me,” she protested.
