Page 62 of The Explorer
CHAPTER 15
Experimenting
Aubri
Indiana and I were lying in bed with both of us unable to fall asleep.
“It was so good to see my mom.”
“I know. I’m grateful that they came all this way to see us.” I was on my side looking up at the dark ceiling.
“You got annoyed with your mom, though,” Indiana pointed out and propped his arm under his head. “In the restaurant, when she reminded you of your promise.”
“Was it obvious? I thought I hid my irritation.”
“It was subtle, but you can’t hide much from me, young grasshopper.”
Turning on my side, I pushed my pillow into a better position. “I know I promised to marry when we return in a year, but it’s not just a matter of deciding I want to marry. I will have to find the right man as well.” As soon as I said it, I knew it was a mistake.
Indiana narrowed his eyes and even though he didn’t speak at first, I felt the energy change in the room.
Ever since our night with Lucille two and a half weeks ago, something had been off between us. Indiana had tried to get me to talk about what happened several times, but I was afraid he wanted a commitment from me and had avoided the conversation.
The new attraction I felt toward Indiana scared me. It was bringing out new and crazy sides of me. Like the sudden bursts of jealousy that I had felt when Lucille or that petite woman from the fight club touched him. Or when he bought Sparrow the fire truck. Despite telling myself to get a grip, I’d had little to no control on the night when Indiana fought and won against three men. The women at the club had been drooling over Indiana and making him outright offers in front of me. Instead of being happy for my friend, and encouraging him to explore his sexuality, I’d been edgy and bratty. Unable to express how I felt, I’d ended up picking a fight with him over something petty.
I’d always been a bit wild, but doing something as irrational as inviting him into the shower with me was the epitome of stupid when I knew damn well that Indiana wasn’t a French guy who would be amused by a little fun and move on.
“Maybe you did find the right man,” Indiana said, looking intently at me.
He was talking about himself. I knew it, but my head still couldn’t wrap itself around the two of us as a couple. I needed danger and excitement. Indiana was safety and a soft place to fall.
I had backed myself into a corner. We had to talk about what was happening between us.
My lips pressed together as I rolled to lie on my back. What if Indiana blamed me for playing with his heart and demanded that I married him?
What if our talk ended in his leaving me in Old Europe alone? The thought of Indiana leaving me made it hard to breathe.
“Aubri.”
“Yes?” I rolled to the side and swung my legs over the side of the bed. My heart was beating way too fast and my throat felt prickly and raw.
“Where are you going?”
“I need water.”
Indiana waited while I walked to the kitchen, gulped down a large glass of water, and returned to the bedroom with a full glass in my hands.
“You want?” I reached out my hand with the glass.
Taking the glass from me, Indiana touched my fingers and kept eye contact. “Thanks.”
I watched him drink as he sat in bed with the duvet covering the lower part of his body. With his attention on the water, my eyes feasted on his upper body. Like some schoolgirl with a crush, I noticed how the hair on his chest was trimmed and every part of his upper body looked like an artist had carved him to perfection. Indiana wasn’t as obscenely muscled as some of the men back home who waddled because their thigh muscles were too large to walk normally. He was well proportioned and athletic.
Stop it, Aubri!
I got back into bed, telling myself that I was being a freak for ogling my friend.
“Can we talk about that night with Lucille and what happened today in the shower?”
