Page 51 of The Artist
I laughed with her and was happy that I hadn’t told her about my secret attraction to Mason. “I doubt Jonah even knows my name, Freya. He’s a powerful council member who is married to the love of his life. Why would my opinion matter one bit? And it’s not like I’m lusting after him. All I’m saying is that if you don’t like Northlanders, then your best option is someone like him.”
“Are you done?” Freya asked with a nod to my half empty plate.
“Yes, thank you. It was delicious.”
With a speculative expression, Freya took out our plates and rinsed them off.
“What? I can see your mind is cooking up evil plans. Spit it out.”
“Belle, have you ever considered moving?”
I played with my fingers, noticing that my nails had grown too long. Working with babies, I tried to keep them short to avoid ever scratching one of the little ones by accident. “I’ve told you, Freya, it’s not possible. With our limited number of citizens, every person counts. Remember I told you how our government was originally afraid that the summits were a way for the Motherlands to lure away some of our brightest people? That’s why they made the Motherland Council sign a contract to guarantee that we would always return home after gatherings. They even made the five of us swear our loyalty in a public ceremony.”
“You were twelve, Belle, and you had no idea what the world had to offer back then.” She crossed her arms and leaned against the sink.
“Besides, my father never signed an agreement like that. You could stay here if you wanted to.”
I shook my head. “No one has ever moved away. If I did, I would be considered a traitor and my government wouldn’t allow Celeste, Victor, or the others to come to these summits ever again. They’ve always been suspicious of outsiders to begin with.”
“But how can they trap you like that? You should have your freedom to leave if you wanted to.”
Feeling the pressure of the national loyalty that had been ingrained in me from early childhood, I looked down and muttered, “I don’t want to leave. Old Europe is home to me.”
She studied me for a long second. “Be honest, Belle. Between you and me, could you never see yourself live somewhere else?”
I didn’t answer because there was no reason to dream about things that would never come true, no matter how much I wanted them to. Then I asked, “Could you?”
“Yes.”
“But you like it here, don’t you?”
“Of course, but I could see myself being happy in other places as well.” Wiggling a finger at me she tilted her head forward. “What I could never do is live in a country that didn’t support my right to personal freedom and love.”
I got up from the chair and moved to the sofa. The conversation was draining to me. “Love. What does that even mean? You Northlanders have such a weird concept of what you think love is. In the rest of the world we don’t associate love with romance. I love every single one of the babies that I care for. I love my friends. You never hear the Motlanders long for romantic love, do you? They form deep friendships and that’s enough for them.”
Joining me on the couch, Freya pulled her legs under her and spread a cozy blanket over both of us. “It’s human nature to fall in love. I’ve seen it happen and it’s not something you can control.”
Smoothing the blanket with my hands, I looked to the fireplace that would need to be tended to soon. “Have you been in love?”
“Yes, but nothing ever came of it, and I was too embarrassed to ever admit it.”
“Who did you fall in love with?”
Freya grinned. “That part I’ll take to my grave.”
“Was it someone I know?”
Freya pulled a finger over her lips. “Don’t ask me questions about it because you’ll never get answers. All I’m saying is that humans fall in love, and I don’t believe for a second that French people or Motlanders are exempt from that.”
“Freya, come on. You know we have laws against romantic relationships.”
“Mhmm. You’re conditioned to suppress your feelings, and to avoid the person you’re attracted to. But even if they’ll never know how you feel about them, you still feel it in your heart. You just force yourself to snatch the bud before you allow it to blossom.”
“Maybe you’re right, but I can honestly say that I’ve never been in love.”
Freya stared at me. “Never?”
“I’ve felt attracted to a few men, and I’ve had sex, but Aubri described being in love as a state of mind where you can’t eat, sleep, or drink. I’ve never tried that.”
