Page 53 of The Artist
I searched her eyes to give her a silent thank you, but with Belle moving away she didn’t see it. It confused me that she had hardly looked at me at all since I got back from sledding.
“Who wants to play chess?” Victor asked
“I do,” Freya offered, but he ignored her and turned to the others.
“Other than Freya.”
“What’s wrong? You don’t like to lose?” she goaded him. The two of them had been beating each other in chess since the first summer and tonight he wasn’t taking the bait.
“I’ll play,” Lachlan offered.
Holly reached out to stop Lachlan when he passed her. “But I thought we were supposed to have an emotional release session on what happened yesterday.”
“Belle says she doesn’t want to spend the whole night talking about it,” Freya commented, “so maybe we should stick to the agenda and discuss freedom of trade, travel, and speech like we planned to do.”
“I’m sorry, but I’m going to have to insist that we at least allow a quick session of talking through what happened last night. It was terribly traumatic.” Holly’s bangs were far too short for my taste, giving her a childish look despite the fact that she was twenty-five and predicted to be elected to the Motherland Council at the next election.
In the end we all sat through almost two hours of what the Motlanders described as a reflection on our emotions. I was quiet for the most part, my mind showing me vivid memories of finding Belle in that snow tomb.
“I’m curious, Mason. How are you holding up? It must have been scary for you to crawl through that tunnel,” Doreen asked and waited for my answer with her head tilted to the side in what I reckoned was her expression of empathy.
“I’m an Nman. We don’t get scared.” It was utter bullshit because I’d been scared shitless. I would just rather suffer someone ripping off all my fingernails than admitting to that out loud.
“Fear isn’t weakness. It’s meant to help you survive,” Victor pointed out from his position at the dining table where he sat with a chessboard in front of him. He hadn’t participated much in the session and his game with Lachlan was long over. Now he was playing himself, it seemed.
“I’ll admit that I get scared.”
Aubri, Thor, and I all gaped at Indiana, who had raised his hand and spoken.
“Good for you. That’s the spirit,” Doreen praised him enthusiastically. “This is a safe place and none of us would ever think less of you for expressing your fears. They’re natural.”
Harper leaned closer. “Can you tell us what scares you?”
“Sure.” Indiana scratched his beard. “My fear is that we’re going to sit here all night talking about emotions. Actually, it’s like something from my worst nightmares.”
I laughed and shoved his shoulder. “Fuck, you had me worried for a moment there.”
The Motlanders didn’t look amused and scowled at Thor, Indiana, and me for laughing.
“We’ve told you before. It’s very unhealthy for you to cling to your toxic masculinity. Men have as full a range of emotion as women do, but you’re insisting on pretending that you don’t just so you can live up to some artificial standard of bravery,” Holly preached.
“Yeah, yeah, whatever. What about Victor, Simon, and Isaac? You haven’t heard them share their feelings much, have you? Are you going to yell at them too?” I asked.
Holly turned to the French. “What’s your position on toxic masculinity?”
Victor gave a bored side glance. “I don’t have one. If the Northlander men want to act all macho, I don’t give a shit. Nor do I care that Lachlan and Oliver are hiding behind the women most of the time. Each to his own.”
“But do you encourage boys to be emotional in Europe?” Harper inquired.
“Ask Belle. She works with children,” Celeste suggested.
“I work with babies and hand them over when they’re a year old. We don’t think much about gender at that point.”
“Good, you shouldn’t. Gender doesn’t matter,” Holly pointed out.
Thor cut through. “It does to us. We raise boys to be boys and girls to be girls.”
Holly raised her brow. “But what about those who don’t identify as either?”
