Page 72 of River
CHAPTER 19
Feeling Used
Noah
My new room was sparsely decorated but smelled clean. It was small with a sofa-bed, a table, and a dresser with a vase of lovely wildflowers on top.
I unpacked my clothes and was relieved to see my picture frame with the photo of Nala had made it to Ireland in one piece. Setting my laptop down on the small table, I opened it. A video with River that I’d been watching popped back up.
I should stop watching her videos, but despite the pain of seeing her, there was also pleasure and so I pressed play.
It was the video from the day we surprised the children with their new home. River’s voice was narrating as she showed how the children used to live and how happy they were when we took them through the town to their new home.
Despite my anger with her, I still smiled when I saw the children’s reaction, and then waves of sorrow overwhelmed me from the grief of losing River so suddenly.
Maybe the problem was that I’d had no chance of closure, and I felt angry with myself for going too far that night. I should have been more patient, but then her reaction was childish and out of proportion. We were adults and should be able to talk about what happened.
A knock on my door made me look up to see Fleur in the door opening.
“You okay?”
“Yes. I’m fine.”
“I hope you didn’t expect much. The rooms here are small.”
“This will do fine.”
Fleur studied me, and I got the feeling she was trying to get a sense of me. I’d admired this woman for years. She was one of the best animal communicators in the world, and I was here to learn from her.
“Who’s she?” She nodded to the video where River was talking.”
Pausing it, I answered matter-of-factly. “Her name is River. We had a thing for a while back in May until she dumped me.”
“I’m sensing resentment on your part.”
“It ended kind of sudden and…” I shrugged. “I don’t know. She’s a YouTuber, and I suppose that using people is what she does best. Like those children. She and her brother bought the orphans a new house, but then she had to record it and share it with the world to make her look good. Now, I wonder if it was ever about the children or more about making her look good to her fans.”
“You think she used the children?” Fleur walked closer to see the screen. “Almost four million views. That’s impressive. She must have a large outreach.”
“She does.”
“Hmm. Imagine if some of her followers get inspired to volunteer at an orphanage or donate? Then I could forgive her for looking good in that video. Couldn’t you?”
“It’s easy for you to say. You’re not the one feeling used.”
Fleur moved back to the doorway. “Trust me, I know the feeling. It’s the very reason I left South Africa.”
“Yeah?” I plunked down on my bed and swung my hand to the chair in the corner. “I was curious about that.”
Fleur didn’t take a seat but leaned against the doorframe. “You said that you read my biography, so you know my parents were wildlife photographers and that we lived for many years in the most rural part of Tanzania. They were often gone on expeditions, but I was sort of adopted into the tribe of the Hadza people who lived close by and who were friends of my parents. I loved staying with them because there were always children to play with and adults who sang and danced. They’re the ones who taught me how to track animals and communicate with them.”
“It must have been a wonderful way to grow up.”
“It was. I didn’t see a TV until I was eleven.” Fleur smiled. “That’s when we moved to South Africa and six years later, I met Pierre. He came to learn from my parents and pursue a career as a wildlife photographer. Pierre was ten years older than me, but we fell in love and married when I was nineteen.”
“That’s young.”
“Maybe, but I’d seen girls married much younger in the village, and I loved that he was as passionate about the preservation of nature as I was. We worked well together. I’d help him get some amazing photos by tracking down the animals and calming them. He won so many awards and quickly rose to stardom within that world.” Fleur tucked her hands in her pockets and frowned as she continued.
