Page 89 of Nathan
“Is it your first time in Ireland?” I asked her.
“Yes. I’ve been to Wales and Scotland, but never Ireland.”
As if he was an old friend of Lucille, Jacob explained, “Lucille lives in Brighton.”
“That’s by the seaside, isn’t it?” Liam asked.
“Yes. It’s quite nice.”
“How far is it from London?” Brody wanted to know.
“Oh, about an hour by train.”
Jacob moved a little closer to her. “I go to London often because of my job.”
“What kind of work do you do?”
“Let’s go get ye a drink and I’ll tell ye about it.”
I zoned out when Lucille and Jacob left for the bar. Like a drug addict, I checked my phone for more messages from Serena, but there was nothing since her last text where she asked me not to tell Lucille that we were together.
Another pinch of fear, that we weren’t on the same page, made me tap my foot under the table. Serena and I had promised each other that we wouldn’t let the outside pressure get to us, but was that even realistic?
My fingers typed,You are mine, right?But not wanting to seem clingy, I deleted it. Scratching my thigh, I felt an itching sensation all over my body from that damn old insecurity of not being enough.
After my time in the cult, Liv and Charles had forced me to see a therapist, and I could name all the soul-crushing ways Conor had damaged my self-worth. The snake in my bed that made me think I was hallucinating, the constant gaslighting that confused us all, and the academic pressure of studying from morning to night because of Conor’s vain need to have advanced students. It annoyed me that despite ten years of reprogramming my brain to believing in myself, the doubt still crept in.
It’s because I want Serena so fucking much.
For the hundredth time since we’d left the cabin, flashbacks from the days Serena and I spent together in Sweden came back to me. It had been my version of paradise with the simplicity of it all. The tranquility of the forest, the breathtaking glory of a sunrise by the water, board games, long runs, talking into the morning hours, and endless hours of lovemaking. If only we could have stayed longer.
Finally, my phone vibrated with a text from Serena, and it made my pulse spike like it was a race to open it.
Serena: Can you believe this shit?
I opened the article she had linked to. An image of Storm came up. He was standing on a hotel balcony looking out over the city of Bangladesh with a sad expression on his face and a headline saying,The Wedding Is Off!
More pictures of Storm in his suite came further down in the article where he described having no appetite, problems remembering his lines, and trouble sleeping. I skimmed the article and felt my blood boil when it said:
Weren’t there any signs that you may have overlooked?
Everyone is asking me that, and I’ve spent sleepless nights trying to rewind and search for those signs, but no. I genuinely thought Serena loved me as much as I loved her. Why else would she agree to marry me when I proposed to her? It makes no sense to me that someone can be that deceiving and two-faced.
Do you hate her?
No, I’m just left with this heavy sorrow in my chest. In my mind, we were going to live together for the rest of our lives as man and wife. Now, she’s not responding to my calls or text messages. She cut me off, and it’s going to take a long time to heal my heart from that sort of brutal betrayal from someone I trusted as my best friend.
A snort escaped me as I replied to Serena.
Nathan: Something is seriously wrong with this bloke. Is he on drugs?
Serena: I’m fuming! He’s shameless, and he won’t stop! My agent just told me that I didn’t get the role in Wood and Water that I told you about. They went with another less controversial actress… Argh!!!
Nathan: I’m sorry, luv. I can’t believe my sister loved this crackhead. He has to be the world’s biggest liar.
Serena: I’m done with Storm’s publicity stunts. This has to end.
Trying to make light of it, I joked:
