Page 66 of Nathan
“Well, it’s sort of a coming of age movie where the main character trusts her cat to choose who she should date because she believes cats can sense if people are good or bad. Anyway, I played opposite Martin Brewer, who was twenty at the time. The two of us had so much fun on the set that we stayed in contact after the movie was done, and he sort of became my first boyfriend.”
“What do you mean when you say sort of?”
I shrugged. “It was a long-distance relationship, but we were very devoted to each other, and it broke my heart when he ended it after about a year.”
“Then what?”
“Well, I dated a musician for six months when I was nineteen, and he was my first.”
“You were nineteen when you lost your virginity?”
“Yes. Don’t look so shocked. My parents wanted me to wait until marriage.”
“Go on.”
“The musician went on tour andaccidentallyfell into a crowd of groupies in a hotel room. One of them sold pictures to the papers from the orgy, and that ended things between him and me. I had just starred inSand and Summerand won a BAFTA so the magazines were all over my failed love life, exhibiting my pain to the world.”
“Yes, I know how relentless they can be.”
“I had a phase of acting out. I told my friends it wasn’t about getting back at my ex for cheating on me, but looking back, it totally was. I hooked up with a handful of guys over the next two years, and it was a constant scandal in the public eye. In reality, I was grieving and processing it in the worst way possible by using those poor guys.”
“Didn’t you love any of them?”
“Not the way I loved the musician.”
“How come you don’t say his name? I know it’s Cameron Bryce.”
“The whole world knows who it is after he wrote that stupid apology song, but I’ve decided he’s not worth my time, and so to me, he’s nothing but an ex.”
“Sounds like you’re not really over him.”
I snorted. “I honestly couldn’t care less about him, but you’re right; I’ll never forgive him for publicly humiliating me the way he did.”
“Is he the only real boyfriend you ever had?”
“It depends on how you define it. I’ve had a few long-distance relationships, but I’ve never lived with anyone, and the only one I ever brought home to meet my family was Cameron.”
Nathan pointed at my mouth. “Ohh, you just said his name. Now you’ll have to wash your mouth out with soap and water.”
“And Clorox.”
We walked hand in hand, talking about Nathan’s past relationships. It’d been a string of monogamous relationships that had each ended after nine to twelve months.
“Why is that? I mean, it seems like a pattern.”
“Probably because they wanted more, and I wasn’t ready to take that step.”
“They wanted a ring?”
He was wearing sweat pants that showed off his incredible butt and a long sleeved t-shirt that sat tight, underlining his fit shoulders and chest. “Maybe not a ring, but at least a key to my place. I’ve been deployed twice; each time six months, and that cost me two relationships.”
I stopped and looked at him. “Does that mean that you didn’t mean what you said earlier? About marrying me.”
Nathan stuffed his free hand in his pockets and met my stare head-on. “I meant every word I said.”
“But why? You were with those women for months, some even a full year. Why would you commit to me and not them?”
Nathan frowned and kicked at some leaves on the ground. “Maybe I’m older and finally ready, or maybe it’s because I feel different about you.”
