Page 15 of Nathan
“I can’t even imagine asking my partner to understand this crazy business. At least I was single, but then again, River is kind of a part of the entertainment industry too. Maybe that’s why she took it so well.”
I coughed and reached for the other beer on the table. “Who told you that River took it well?”
“Storm did. He said that she was a sport about it.”
“Did he?” It was hard not to confront Serena and give her my opinion about her despicable behavior, but I had to keep this encounter light and flirtatious, so I changed the subject. “Let’s not talk about River and Storm. Why don’t you tell me something about yourself that I don’t know?” There was a flirtatious challenge in those words.”
“Oh, you mean like a dark secret or something?”
“Uh-huh,” I encouraged her.
“You go first.” Her eyes were wide open and she leaned closer to me. “I promise you can trust me.”
I blamed it on the alcohol that trusting Serena came so easy. “Back in Spain, do you remember us talking about all the extreme sport competitions I was going to be in this year?”
“Yeah.”
“About a month later, in the beginning of February, my brother Atlas came home from Chicago with his now-fiancée Jolene. I showed her around Ireland and she and I talked for a whole day. She’s a psychologist and asked me a lot of questions that helped me acknowledge that I’ve been using sports to numb myself.”
“From what?”
I shrugged. “Any sort of emotional stress or pain.”
“Better that than alcohol or drugs.”
“True, but everything is about balance, and I was obsessed. Jolene was the one who talked to me about orthorexia, which is a fancy word for when a healthy lifestyle becomes sick. It wasn’t easy to admit to myself, but the rigid systems I’d built up around my sports were extreme and I was flirting with the idea of doing MMA fighting. The way I was abusing my body and not allowing myself to rest wasn’t sustainable.”
Serena didn’t move away or judge me. She just listened to my admission before asking, “Does that mean you’re done competing?”
“Not entirely. I’ve just cut it down significantly compared to what I had originally planned.”
“Hmm…” Her fingers played with the martini glass.
“What about you? What’s your dark secret?”
She looked thoughtful. “Sometimes when I do these kind of things… you know, press tours, I feel silly.”
“Silly how?”
She looked away. “It’s like I never grew up. I’m still dressing up and playing different roles like back when I was a kid. I love to entertain people, but at the end of the day I’m not really contributing with anything important, am I? I mean, my brother-in-law is a doctor who literally saves people’s lives. All I do is pretend that I’m a hero, but in reality I’m just… me.”
As she spun the glass in front of her with frown lines on her forehead, I sat fascinated by the vulnerability she showed me.
“Two years ago, I was on a plane when a woman went into labor. It was unexpected and way too early so she and her husband were scared. The way people turned to me as if I would know what to do in a situation like that…” Serena shook her head. “People see me as this wicked smart and fearless hero who always saves the day in movies, but none of that is real, and when a crisis happened in real life, I was a major disappointment to everyone including myself.” She gave me a small smile. “I’m sure you would have known what to do.”
“I doubt it. If someone had lost their cool and been violent on the plane, I would have known how to immobilize them, but a woman giving birth is far outside my expertise.”
“Hmm.” Serena spun a lock of her hair around her index finger with a thoughtful expression.
“And about your work being silly,” I said. “Personally I think we need silly in this world. When I was deployed and couldn’t see my family for months, movies made everything better. Movies are a great distraction for anyone with heartache, and people use them to come together. Imagine how many millions you’ve entertained who were on a date night. Or those who were stuck in a hospital bed fighting to get well again. We can’t all be doctors and firefighters, but I for one find that your job offers value to a lot of people.”
Serena met my eyes. “Thank you. I don’t want you to think I hate my job because I don’t… except for these press tours.” She sighed. “I used to dream about one day traveling the world as a movie star but traveling to fourteen countries in less than three weeks is nothing but a blur of faces, airports, and hotels.”
“What’s your impression of Ireland?”
“The little I’ve seen is very pretty, but unfortunately, I arrived late last night, and I’ve been stuck in this hotel all day doing interviews.”
“When are you leaving?”
