Page 45 of The Protector
“The forbidden books,” she breathed.
“Yes, Christina. People used to fall in love and marry because they couldn’t stand the thought of being separated. They were partners, mates… do you understand?”
“That’s not what I’ve heard.”
“Well, did it occur to you that you might not know everything and that there’s a reason those books are forbidden?”
“They are forbidden because they create unwanted emotions in people and in some cases depression,” Christina explained.
“Yeah, I can relate,” I said and raised her chin to make her look at me. “But it’s only because reading those books will make you long for how it used to be between men and women, I always wanted to experience it, but we’re cut off from the women living in the Motherlands and even if we could go there, you’ve all been brainwashed to think of love and passion as something wrong.”
“We have love,” Christina defended. “I feel great love and affection for my friends.”
“I’m not talking about that kind of love.” I took her hand and lifted it to my heart. “I’m talking about the passionate kind between a man and a woman.”
For a second we stood close, her hand on my chest and my hand over hers.
“Remember when you called me your friend? And when you ran into my arms at the ceremony?”
“Yes.”
“Doesn’t that tell you something?”
“What?”
I sighed, annoyed that she couldn’t see what I was seeing. “You trust me and you feel safe with me.”
She pulled back a little. “I wouldn’t say that.”
“Then what would you say then?”
“That of all my options at that time you were the least frightening.”
I let go of her and started walking again. She followed me in silence toward the Gray Mansion and remained quiet after that.
The situation was awkward. We’d been together day and night for days and had talked and learned from each other, but now she was closed off to me. I treated her like I would treat a distrustful animal and advanced slowly.
It was only nine thirty when she went to bed. “What are you doing?” she asked when I joined her.
“I’m tired too. It’s been a long day and fighting Nelson took a lot out of me.”
“But you sleep on the couch,” she said and pulled the cover to her nose.
“Not anymore,” I said and made myself comfortable next to her.
“Don’t think we’ll be having sex,” she said quickly.
I turned on my right side, facing her, and arranging my pillow while trying to find a comfortable position for my broken arm and a solution to my predicament. I wanted to move slowly so as not to scare her, but I also couldn’t give in to her idea that we would never have sex.
“Is it because you’re afraid of hurting my arm?” I finally asked.
“No,” she said quickly. “It’s because I don’t like the idea of sex at all.”
“You’ll get used to it,” I said, “And if it’s any consolation I’m a virgin too.”
Christina held up a palm. “I’m going to stop you right there. You might as well get the notion of our having sex out of your mind, because it will never happen. If I wanted sex I could have stayed with Archer.”
“But you didn’t,” I stated. “You married me and you are nowmywife.”
