Page 80 of The Genius
I yawned again and rolled on my side. “I need some more sleep.”
Marco smiled. “Where is the troll machine?”
“I only use it twice a week now.”
“More a princess than a troll then, are you?”
“Neither.” I cleared my throat feeling that familiar pressure in my chest from last night, but I managed a small smile. “Just the same quirky Shelly that I’ve always been.”
“Talking about that… Did you really ask Hunter and Storm if they wake up with morning wood? Storm told me before we went to bed. You should have seen him –he was laughing so hard about it, saying that he’d never seen Hunter look so awkward in his life.”
I wrinkled my forehead. “Hunter was the one bringing up aging and future health concerns. I was just pointing out that for men morning wood is one of the indications that they are healthy.”
“Shelly. You can’t ask a man that sort of thing. That shit is like… personal.”
“I see.” It was classic Shelly to either share too much information or ask questions that were too personal. “In that case give Storm my apologies, and I’m sorry if I embarrassed you.” I pulled my blanket higher.
“Storm doesn’t know that anything is going on between us. He just thinks you’re hilarious.”
“Right.” My tone was flat. It was one more thing I could add to my long list of why Marco was better off without me. My lack of social finesse. More tears were pressing behind my eyes and feeling heavy as a house; it suddenly felt impossible for me to keep up a charade. “Actually, Marco, I can’t do lunch today. I’m kind of busy finishing off my research project.”
“Oh, okay, can I see you later then?”
“I’m sorry, but today won’t work.”
Marco ran his hands through his hair. “Shelly, what’s going on? Did I offend you?”
I gave a small shake of my head, the tightness in my jaw and throat making it hard to speak. “No. I’m just busy and besides, you have to prepare for the tournament.”
“Tomorrow then?”
I had to end the call or he’d see me break down. “Not sure. I’ll get back to you on that.”
Marco’s voice grew in volume. “Shelly, what’s going on?”
Tears were pressing, and turning the camera away from my face I spoke fast. “Nothing. I have to pee, so we’ll talk later.” I ended the conversation knowing that Marco had to be sitting back in confusion about what had just happened.
It had been a month since I pretended to be a sex-bot and since then we’d enjoyed sex together numerous times. There was nothing I’d rather do than be close to him again, but my heart couldn’t take it anymore. Like in a jigsaw puzzle, pieces of what had happened between us at the party yesterday began to fall into place.
Marco had acted almost jealous and told me not to drink or smoke weed. He’d denied that it was possessiveness, and I had been so disappointed. At least if he was possessive it would have meant that I mattered to him.
The minutes we shared with deep eye contact had made me feel like a thousand butterflies were playing tag inside my body. I had felt such a deep connection between us, but the mind will show you what you want to see. Marco’s denial that there was a special connection between us, when Willow asked him, suddenly rang truer than it had yesterday when I’d convinced myself that he was lying. Now that Marco had just pointed out to me how awkward I was and how his friends were laughing at me, it all made sense. How could I not have seen that the reason he didn’t want me to get drunk or high yesterday was that he was embarrassed by me? That’s why he wouldn’t take me out to lunch either. Sure, he didn’t want me to mess up his chances with Louisa, but he didn’t want to be embarrassed by me either.
With an angry movement, I dried away a tear. I might be embarrassing and quirky, but I still had pride.
Unrequited love is for masochists.I had read it somewhere, and my photographic memory fetched it back like a well-trained dog trying to be helpful.
I wish I could throw my feelings for Marco away or bury them like a bone, deep enough to forget about. But my brain didn’t work like that. I had clear memories from my early childhood, and I would remember my love for Marco to the day I died.
Inhaling deeply, I forced air down lungs that felt like an iron band was squeezing them. Never again would I let anyone tell me that I didn’t have emotions. I had too many and they hurt.
I should have known that a bit of clean skin and bigger breasts didn’t make much difference. I was still Brainy and Marco was still my secret crush.
A message popped in. “Please can I see you tomorrow?”
I knew what this was about. Marco wanted to have sex with me as many times as possible before he left to get married. The experiments and dirty talk would stop with me. Louisa was precious and clean. As one in less than a hundred women born in the Northlands, she was what he called thereal thing. A rare pearl compared to one of us one point three billion Motlander women on the other side of the border. No wonder Marco would cherish her. She would become the mother of the children he so longed to have.
I read the message again. “Please can I see you tomorrow?”
