Page 113 of Yellow
“I know, but it could be worse,” Faith said and walked carefully to sit on one of the cliffs.
I got a hold of Max and followed her. “You always say that.” I laughed. “You’re the eternal optimist.”
“But it’s true. It could be worse… think about it: sex could be fattening.”
I laughed and took the fruit bar she handed me. “That would be bad. Then I would have gained four pounds last night, at least.”
“See.” She nodded. “Who cares about a few clouds? We have gorgeous men in our lives who are crazy about us and we’ve got each other. Life is good, right?”
I felt guilty for thinking that I wouldn’t categorize Logan as gorgeous, with all his scars.
“Uh-oh, what’s wrong, Chloe?”
“Nothing,” I said and flushed red.
“Sweetie, you’ve got the same look on your face as the time you ripped my new Levi’s jacket.”
“We were fifteen, you can’t remember how I looked.”
“Ohh, I know your guilty face when I see it. What did you do?”
I looked down. “It’s just that I’m starting to realize that I’m a shallow and horrible person,” I admitted.
Faith widened her eyes in surprise.
“Just now when you said we have gorgeous men, I thought about Logan’s scars.” I closed my eyes with shame.
“Hey,” Faith laid her hand on mine. “Nothing you can say can make me love Logan less. He’s gorgeous in my eyes, and in a way I’m better off than you are.”
I squinted one eye open. “Why?”
“Because if every woman feels that way I never have to worry about other women trying to snatch him away from me.” She smiled warmly.
“He’s like glued to your side and head over heels in love with you. He’s definitely not going anywhere,” I stated.
“Then I’m happy,” she said and bit off a chunk of the fruit bar.
“But isn’t it sad that I’m so judgmental? I really wish that I wasn’t,” I reflected while slowly running my gaze over the beautiful panoramic view.
“I’m proud of you, Chloe.”
“Right,” I scoffed sarcastically.
“No, I am. Personal growth is a slow process. For you to recognize that you don’t want to be shallow and judgmental any more is a huge step toward changing it,” Faith pointed out. “They say that to get somewhere new you must first decide that you’re tired of being where you are.”
“In that case I would like to be less judgmental and self-absorbed. I think Adam would like me more then.”
Faith leaned in and gently bumped my shoulder with hers. “This isn’t about him, though.”
I patted Max on the head and gave him a bite of my snack. “You’re right; life could be worse, and come to think about it, I’m just happy to be alive and to experience this.” I waved my hand at the view before I turned to her. “And to hang with you of course.”
An older couple came up to the top, and we waited until they’d passed us and gone to the other side of the viewpoint.
“About Niko,” Faith suddenly said and I instantly knew she was about to tell me what happened that night he was arrested.
“He came at night and woke me up when he crawled into the bed. He thought I was you and talked nonsense. You know, saying that the police were lying and that he didn’t really shoot you because he’d never hurt you.” Faith looked down and her eyes glazed over.
I held my breath, afraid of what she was going to tell me.
