Page 46 of Yellow
CHAPTER 8
Colors
Chloe
Later that day, Adam took me on the mandatory hike into the woods. The quiet was only broken by our footsteps and Max’s barking when he chased an animal.
“You said you would help me with the self-esteem thing,” I said after the awkward silence between us became too painful.
“Right.” Adam gave me a sideways glance. “Ona wants you to reflect on the things you value about yourself.” He held up a hand. “And before you start jabbering about followers and fans, let me define it for you. You have to focus on all the things that are related to what makes you special as a person. Not what you cando, but who youare.”
“I’m a talented actress,” I said.
“But who areyou, Chloe, at your core?”
We walked on with me searching for things to say. I could have mentioned a bunch of things, but they were all related to my achievements, and I knew that wasn’t what he wanted to hear.
“Okay, let me ask you this,” he said. “If you were a color, what color would you be?”
“Glitter,” I said right away, thinking about my glamorous life.
“Glitter isn’t a color.”
“Then I would be a rainbow of colors. Whatever color people wanted to see, I would be it.”
Adam stopped me and placed his hands on my shoulders. “Chloe, I’m not asking about what color you think other people want you to be. I’m asking what color are you, at your core?”
I don’t know!
The realization was crystal clear. I had absolute no idea who I was at my core.
I creased my brows and spoke with uncertainty: “Maybe yellow, then?”
“Why yellow?”
“Because that’s my favorite color. It’s bright and sunny.”
“And do you feel bright and sunny on the inside?”
I creased my brows. “Sometimes… not always, of course.”
“But it’s how you would like to feel?”
“Yes. Who wouldn’t?”
Adam walked on. “Everyone is different; I don’t long to be bright and sunny on the inside.”
“Then what do you want to be?”
“At peace.”
“And what color is that?” My tone was a bit sarcastic, but he answered anyway.
“If I were to describe myself as a color it would be green,” he said.
“Why?”
“Because I’m like a gardener of humans. Healing people is much like making someone blossom again.”
