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“Hey, you’re supposed to be the psychologist of the two of us. You know all about stages of love-sickness but you can’t give me some slack when I’m going through it.”
“I tried but all you did was get angry at me.”
“Because I was in my angry phase. I was angry at the world, and the world includes you.”
“Yeah, well, next time channel your anger in the right direction and address the person responsible. Did you ever call Adam like I suggested?”
“No.”
“You need to give him a chance to explain himself.”
I scoffed. “Remember that time Niko and I broke up for a few weeks and you told me that I shouldn’t look for closure by talking with him, but rather let his actions speak for themselves?”
“And I was right, Chloe. When he got that groupie pregnant you should have never taken him back.”
I was silent – didn’t want to hear the “I told you so.”
“So where would you say that you are now?” Faith asked softly.
“Ehm… what were the phases again?” I asked.
“Denial, anger, negotiation, depression, and acceptance.”
“I think I’m jumping between the last four.”[that leaves out denial, and the next thing she says is that she’s denying it was a relationship]
“How?”
“I tell myself it wasn’t really a relationship to begin with and that it’s silly for me to feel this sad about losing something that really hadn’t even developed into anything yet.
“But then I get angry at him and myself for missing out on something that could have been more…”
“More?” Faith asked when I paused.
“More than I’ve experienced with anyone else.”
“So you’re still mostly angry?”
“No. I’ve cried more over Adam than any of my other boyfriends combined. I can’t help feeling like I lost a piece of myself.”
“I can relate,” Faith said quietly. “Remember I spend years grieving over Allan.”
“I know. But I don’t want to be stuck like you were. There are days when I’m like, okay, Chloe, just accept that it wasn’t meant to be and move on already.”
“Good. That means you’ve moved on to the last phase.”
“But I don’t feel I have. At least not all the time.”
“That’s okay, you’re moving forward and that’s what matters. It’s a dance, not a march.”
“So what you’re saying is that I’m normal?”
“In this area you’re very normal.”
“I’ll ignore the comment about ‘this area,’” I said dryly. “Do you think Adam has even thought about me?”
“Of course he has.”
I played with the keyboard on my laptop. “How can you be so sure? He told me he didn’t want to be attracted to me. I think it was only physical to him.”
