Page 127 of Yellow
CHAPTER 20
Remorse
Chloe
I was on my computer answering fan mail when Faith’s email popped up.
My heart started hammering because it was the first sign of life from Faith in weeks.
Watch this and tell me what YOU think, Chloe.
Not Jane or any of your “friends.” I want to know what YOU think.
Miss you, Faith
I clicked on the attached video and saw Native Americans protesting against environmental threats.
A woman stood in front of a river and looked into the camera with quiet strength when she spoke about being a protector of water and life.
An old chief, with long gray hair and so many wrinkles that his eyes were mere cracks, referred to oil pipes as black snakes polluting the earth; and next the images of animals covered in black oil, dying horrible deaths, tore at my heart.
I jumped in my seat when three different powerful explosions completely demolished what looked like small towns with cars, houses, shops, and probably people too.
“Our ancestors have lived on this land for thousands of years and respected the earth. We’re raised to understand that Mother Nature doesn’t need us – it is we who need nature,” a young solemn-looking teenager said and looked down shyly. He was standing in the snow with red cheeks from the cold and his thick jacket zipped all the way up. “The oil companies won’t listen to us, but we still stand guard for all of humanity. Them included. It’s sad that they won’t understand how serious this is until there’s no clean water left.”
Pictures of Native Americans out in the cold with their children in hand touched my heart. I remembered Adam’s dreams of helping his community, and I was filled with admiration for the strength of these people who had been so deeply traumatized but possessed such wisdom among them.
A picture showed a line of water protectors confronted by police officers dressed in black with helmets and guns. A young girl of around fourteen or fifteen was looking up into the eyes of one of the officers with an expression of defiance that made me stare at her for a long time. This young girl radiated such unyielding strength that I envied her.Talk about setting boundaries.She was probably ten years my junior but she was a true warrior.
My eyes drifted to the other protectors, and I recognized Onava standing behind the group radiating authority and grace. Her mouth was open, as if she were shouting something. I had no doubt she was encouraging the others and that the young girl with the fierce eyes was drawing on Onava’s strength as well.
A deep sense of remorse filled me. I had held back money because of selfish pride. Ten million dollars could make a big difference and possibly help protect people and animals from big companies with no conscience.
Shame filled me when I finally admitted to myself that it had never been about money but about punishing Adam for hurting me.
How self-absorbed can a person be?
I made a spontaneous decision and called up my assistant. “I need to talk to my lawyer right away, have him call me.”
After that I called Faith.
“Did you see the video?” she asked.
“Yes,” I answered with an almost brittle voice. “It’s awful.”
“I know.”
There was a moment of silence until I asked. “How are you?”
“Okay, I guess. But I miss you.”
“I miss you too.” I smiled softly and squeezed the phone tighter.
“Doesn’t mean I changed my mind, though,” Faith pointed out. “I still think you’re being an idiot about the money.”
“I know you do.”
“So?”
