Page 62 of Black
She was crying too hard to answer and looked more like a crazy person walking without direction.
I had no other choice than to run after her and toss her over my shoulder and carry her back into our cabin. I wasn’t going to risk finding her dead from hypothermia in the forest or drowned in some creek later, because she stumbled in that stupid blanket and couldn’t get up by herself.
“I’m not letting you wake up the whole damn camp just because of a stupid misunderstanding,” I told her through gritted teeth and placed her on the bed. “Are you going to be quiet or do I have to muffle you up?”
When she shot me a blazing look of anger and tried to get away from me again, I did something that wasn’t very nice. I immobilized her by sitting astride her and held a hand over her mouth.
“Now you’ll listen to me, Cia, do you understand?”
Her eyes were wide and full of tears. “I need you to calm the fuck down. So I slept with Therese? Get over it – it’s not like I cheated on you or did something criminal. Let’s talk about this like normal people.”
As soon as she quieted down I removed my hand.
“Why were you outside?” I asked with a frown.
She took three deep breaths and I made sure my weight didn’t press down on her. “I had a nightmare and woke up screaming, but you weren’t there. I called for you.”
I rubbed my face. “Fuck, I’m sorry, sugar.”
“I dr-dreamed I was burning up and I nee-needed you,” she said with her teeth still chattering.
“I’m sorry,” I repeated, and the pain in her teary eyes made me feel like the biggest shit in the world.
I had to do something to warm her up. Not only was her body shivering and her lips blue, but she was cold as ice. I made a resolute choice and started to undress her.
“Don’t,” she said. “I’m s-soo cold.”
“I know, but I’m going to warm you up. I promise.” I pulled my own shirt and pants off and cursed the fact that I hadn’t had time to put my briefs on when I ran out of Therese’s cabin. Still, my body heat would warm her and that was all that mattered. If I had believed she had hypothermia I would have called for an ambulance, but her breathing and her pulse were fine and I could tell that she was just really cold.
“Don’t wa-want you close to m-me, you smell of her,” she stammered.
The shower.I quickly went to turn the shower on before I returned and picked her up in my arms. She didn’t fight me, so either she understood that I was just trying to help, or she didn’t have the energy to fight.
I stepped into the bathtub and set her gently down on her feet while holding her under the lukewarm shower spray, which would feel warm to her. She just stood there shaking, so I ignored her complaints about my smelling of Therese and pressed her close to me, hoping that the combination of my body heat and the warm water would warm her up faster.
“I’m so sorry,” I muttered and pulled her arms up and placed them around my neck. “Lean on me, sweetie, I got you.”
“No, you do-don’t,” she murmured back. “No one has me.”
Fuck, that stung. For a week I had been the perfect soldier, following all orders and seeing huge progress with her. Last night at the bonfire, she had trusted me and we had been happy. Now I had screwed up by breaking her trust in me, but even if she had been my real kid, I would have still needed a sex life, god damn it. No parent could be that self-sacrificing, could they?”
“Cia, I’m sorry I wasn’t here when you needed me. But I’m here now.”
She didn’t respond but hung onto me with the warm water cascading down her neck and back.
I stroked her hair out of her face and pulled her chin up to look at her. Her lips were less blue and her teeth had stopped chattering. “Hey, how do you feel?”
She blinked a few times. “I’m angry with you.”
“I know.”
“I needed you.”
“I know.”
“You chose her.”
“Noo…” I puffed out air. “I didn’t chose Therese over you, but I couldn’t sleep next to you for another night without…” Okay, so clearly this was one of the situations Bruce had warned me against. My mouth had spoken before my brain raised the alert. I couldn’t tell her the reason I had slept with Therese; that would only freak her out. Especially since we were both naked and pressed against each other.
