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“Oh.” He lowered me to the floor and took a step back. “Go play then,” he said and turned to talk with Therese.
I found a jigsaw puzzle and tried to block out the flirtatious conversation between Gabriel and Therese.
I couldn’t.
Although I would have never asked him directly, I was curious about him and had wondered many of the same things that she asked him. It turned out that he was born in Bellevue, just east of Seattle. He had always known he wanted to be in the military like his father, and no, he did not have a girlfriend.
Therese spoke more than he did and from her many questions, I could tell she was interested in him. I don’t know why that bothered me, except that his full attention was a new and strangely exciting thing for me.
Gabriel was the first family member that I liked and who treated me with kindness. Maybe I’m selfish, but I didn’t want to share him with Therese.
“G, do you want to help me with the puzzle?” I asked him and had to repeat myself to get his attention.
“No, that’s okay,” he said dismissively and turned his attention back to Therese, who had the nerve to give me a sweet smile and remind me to address Gabriel as Dad or Daddy.
I bit my inner lip and thought for a minute. Then I picked up a toy phone and went to him. I pressed the ringing sound and handed it to him, but to my annoyance he gave me a distracted glance and ignored the phone in my hand.
“Hey,” I said, “No matter how old or badass you think you are, when a toddler hands you their ringing toy phone, you answer it.”
Gabriel crossed his arms and I interpreted the look in his eyes as: “Are you kidding me – you’re interrupting me and Therese – go away.”
I went back to my jigsaw puzzle and thought about a way to get him to see me instead of her.
The solution was obvious.
For the first and hopefully last time in my adult life, I peed myself. It felt warm, funny, and forbidden.
“Daddy,” I called, but of course he didn’t react to that name, so I walked over and pulled on his arm. “Daddy,” I repeated.
Gabriel looked down at me with a question mark on his face.
“I think I need a clean diaper,” I whispered.
His jaw dropped. “What?”
I looked down, pretending to be ashamed, which I was… sort of.
“Will you excuse me?” Gabriel muttered to Therese and took my hand.
“How the hell did that happen?” he asked when we got outside. “Why would you do it in there and not in the cabin?”
“I didn’t know there were rules for when and where to pee,” I said.
In our cabin he got a clean diaper from the bathroom and some baby wipes. “So what now? Do I give you a bath or how does this work?”
“I don’t know,” I said. “I would like to just shower. Can’t a toddler shower?”
“If you can walk, you can stand, and if you can stand, you can shower,” he said, breaking it down. “Let’s just get you into the bath and then I’ll hose you down.”
“Hose me down?”
“Maybe you can do it yourself?” He walked to the phone on the wall and called Bruce.
“Hey, Bruce, can a toddler shower by themselves?” he asked.
“Okay, but if I’m standing next to her, she can wash herself right?
“What? No, I’m not getting in the shower with her.
