Page 122 of Black
“I don’t know about that, but I sure as hell don’t mind offering my services to Black and Violet like the good friend I am.” He winked. “I could distract you both tonight if you’re up for it.”
I arched a brow and didn’t even want to comment on that absurd idea. Me, Daniel, and Violet in a threesome… yeah, right, when pigs fly.
There was only one man I wanted to touch me, and from the way Gabriel had looked at me with anger and disgust, I was certain he would never want me again. Suddenly the dam burst and all the suppressed emotions came full force, making my lungs feel three sizes too small. I got up, desperately needing some fresh air.
As I struggled to unlock the front door and get out of the shop I heard Daniel behind me. “What’s wrong… I didn’t mean to upset you… I was only kidding… I’m sorry, Black.”
“Just give her a minute, Daniel,” Violet said in the distance but I couldn’t stop and turn to look at them… I had managed to subdue reality for hours and now it had come back with a vengeance, ripping me up from the inside.
I walked aimlessly, keeping my feet moving as if they could somehow take me away from the pain.
But of course that’s not how pain works. No amount of miles can separate you from your own heartache.
I can’t say how long it took me, but even though I walked in a bubble of sorrow, my heart steered me toward the man I loved and I ended up standing in front of Gabriel’s building, looking up at the apartment.
The lights were still on.
A brave woman would have gone up to talk things through, but I would rather face a night on the streets than knock on his door looking like this.
The expression of disgust and disappointment on Gabriel’s face earlier today made me wince inside.
He might say that he loved me, but it wasn’t true. Not really.
With my shoulders slumped forward I pulled up the phone I’d gotten from him and made a last call before I dumped his phone, and half of the money I had made tonight, in his mailbox. I couldn’t bear the thought that he might feel like I used him for his money. Four thousand dollars wouldn’t cover rent, food, and everything he had paid for the therapy, but hopefully he would know it was all I could pay at the moment and understand that I never meant to exploit his kindness.
With a last glance up at his window I whispered a last goodbye and disappeared into the night.
