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“It’s just small rings that you squeeze tight around your nose, lips, or ears. I’ve been doing it for years.”
“But why not get the real thing done?”
She was close to me and rubbed her nose. “I don’t like pain much and I didn’t have the money to get real piercings.”
“So if you had the money, you would do it?”
“If I had money I would get a tattoo,” she said.
“What kind of tattoo?”
“I would want a real nice compass between my shoulder blades.” She pointed with her hand.
“Because you like to travel?” I guessed.
“I wouldn’t know. I’ve never been outside of Washington State,” she admitted.
“Then why a compass?”
“Because I’ve been lost for so long. It would be a symbol of hope to me… that I’ll one day find my way.”
Fuck –that hit me right in the solar plexus.
“Do you want to see my tattoos?” I asked her.
Her eyes lit up. “You have tattoos?”
“Uh-huh, seven.” I removed my t-shirt and turned to show her the tattoo on my shoulder blade; it was the sapper army logo sayingCombat Engineer.
Her fingers trailed over the tattoo taking in all the details, and then she got up on her knees to look at my other tattoos with eyes full of fascination.
“The other six are all Hawaiian tribal tattoos.” I lifted my arm for her to see the side of my ribs.
“They are beautiful,” she said and touched them gently with her hands. I was grateful that I didn’t have any tattoos on the lower part of my body or I might have been in trouble with the way she looked at me and touched me.
I ended the show by pulling my t-shirt back on and got up from the bed to go brush my teeth.
“I like the idea about a compass, it’s cute,” I said.
When I came back in, she was once again lying on her side with her eyes closed.
I was grateful for that, because today had been a bit more challenging than yesterday. First of all, I was starting to really like her. Cia was the strangest combination of vulnerability and strength. One minute she would be verbally tearing Bruce to pieces or challenging me in a fight. And then the next minute she would be playing with crayons or making a joke. Her humor was starting to show more often and on several occasions today, I had managed to make her laugh, which always cracked me up because she made the funniest little grunts like a pig and the more she did it, the harder I laughed.
I had volunteered for this whole therapy thing out of a sense of family obligation and because I felt sorry for her. But now, I was starting to care for her; she was such a fighter and smart as hell. You would think I would be excited to discover that my niece was actually a cool kid underneath the hideous black make-up, but I was freaked out over what happened when I bathed her earlier. I didn’t mean to, but when I saw her reaction to my touches, I got a hard-on from the sight of her hard nipples.
Normally, I wouldn’t consider myself a pervert who would be turned on by his niece, so I blamed it on the fact that I hadn’t been with a woman in almost thirteen months and reminded myself that Cia wasn’t even that hot… I mean she was cute in an innocent way, but nothing like the women I’m usually attracted to. Heidi, my last girlfriend, was a gorgeous dancer and model. Cia was pretty at best.
I wasn’t worried though. Therese had slipped me her number today and I was planning on making her help me break my unwanted celibacy real soon. She seemed eager enough to do it, and as soon as Cia got out of this baby/toddler phase and could be on her own, I planned to spend some quality time with Therese.
Despite my attempts to read, the book didn’t catch my interest tonight and instead I found myself studying Cia again as she was lying with her back to me. I love the idea of her tattoo and even more do I like the idea of being her compass. I know I can help her and that I want to see her succeed.
