Page 44 of Our Cracked Pieces
“She didn’t kick me out, so much as it was so awkward afterwards, I left,” I clarified. “When I mentioned staying, she joked about cuddling, and that was my cue to leave.”
“Not used to being the one who wants to stay, I take it?”
“You know I’m not,” I shot back.
“So, Rowan’s got a Cavanaugh mentality, what’s the issue? Worried it was a one-time shot?”
“Fuck,” I muttered.
“What’s going on, Lorcan?”
“What I’m about to tell you stays between us, got it?”
“Fuck you for even asking that.”
“She doesn’t like to be touched,” I told him, feeling a little disgusted with myself for sharing Rowan’s secrets. “It’s straight sex for her, no foreplay or affection, apart from kissing. And while I stuck to the rules, and we both got off, I’m missing something, Gage.”
“And you’re sure it’s not just kink?”
“Positive,” I answered. “If it was just kink, there would have been no awkwardness afterwards.”
“Look, Lorcan, as many times as Rowan’s been to our house and has hung out with us, she’s never revealed any deep secrets about herself while I was around. But…”
“What, Gage?”
“This is just my experience, but when I lost Mystic, I lost a lot of pieces of myself,” he said, not embarrassed to admit how much his wife meant to him. “So, when I was with other women, no matter what happened with them, they never got all of me. I always held back because they weren’t Mystic. There were things I refused to do with those women because those parts of me belonged to Mystic, and always would.”
My stomach clenched. “Are you telling me it’s possible she’s still in love with an old flame, and…and the rest of us are just dick for her?”
“It’s possible the foreplay and affection remind her too much of someone else, Lor.”
“Oh, that’s just fucking great,” I snapped. “Just fucking great.”
“Lorcan, there’s also another possible explanation,” he said.
“What’s that?”
“While it could remind her of someone she was once in love with, it could also remind her of someone who…who might have taken liberties without her permission.”
Well, fuck.
Chapter 31
Rowan~
Dinner had been great. Mystic Evans was always the answer when I was feeling yucky. And as always, Gage knew how to read the room, and after dinner, he had gone to his office, so me and his wife could have some girl time. And while we’d had a good talk, I had decided to ignore her advice and try something different.
Thinking long and hard about it, I figured my best bet was to try with a stranger. If I freaked out, I’d never see him again, so my embarrassment would be short-lived, right? And if I didn’t freak out, well, that opened up an entirely new world of possibilities for me.
Freedom.
And if I did freak out, I could always head back to counseling because I’d obviously need it. Though, it could be argued that I obviously needed it now.
And I could admit the thought of sleeping with someone else felt a little like cheating on Lorcan, but it wasn’t like we’d discussed exclusivity. We’ve slept together once, and that did not constitute a relationship, no matter how many times he called me baby.
Kicking off my heels, and pulling my blouse from my skirt’s waistband, I headed towards the kitchen for another glass of wine. I’d had a few at Mystic’s, but another wouldn’t hurt. My head was filled with too much seriousness that I wasn’t in any danger of catching a buzz.
Pulling a glass from the cupboard, I was interrupted by a knock on the door, and at eight in the evening it couldn’t be too many people. Grayson, my neighbor across the hall who always misplaces his keys, or Lorcan. Grayson would call first, and I imagined so would Lorcan, just to make sure I was home before showing up, so it had to be Victor.
