I walked up to her, slipped my arm around her back, and pulled her to me. Kissing the top of her head, I asked, “You okay?”
She didn’t hug me back, or lean into me, or anything like that. Rowan just kind of stood there, making sure not to touch me. “I’m fine.”
I stepped back a bit, giving her some space, and I couldn’t shake how something was wrong here. I’d done everything she asked, and she came with enough force to make her scream out my name, so I was taking that as a sign that it had been good for her, too, but something was wrong.
I knew it.
I stared down at her, and she stared back because, if nothing else, Rowan Lewis wasn’t a coward. “Are we good?”
“Why wouldn’t we be?” she asked, and there was no mistaking the challenge in her tone.
Better than sticking my foot in my mouth because I wasn’t sure what I was dealing with, I said, “I’m going to go ahead and head out. Unless…I can stay.”
Rowan smirked. “To cuddle?” she mocked. “I already told you how I feel about that shit.”
It was on the tip of my tongue to call her out for acting like a bitch, but I wasn’t going to add more fuel to a fire I had no idea was raging to begin with. Whatever was upsetting Rowan, me and my temper weren’t going to make this awkward situation any better.
I leaned forward, gave her another kiss on the top of her head, and walked out of her apartment without another word said between us.
Chapter 29
Rowan~
My hangover wasn’t as bad as it should have been, considering how much alcohol I had poured down my throat last night, but between the emotions, shower, sex, and two bottles of water, I’d woken up with just a mild headache and lots, and lots of awkwardness.
The sex, as basic as it had been, had been the best I’ve ever had, and that was pretty fucking sad. I had been so primed and ready for Lorcan, he had made me cum embarrassingly quick and hard. White dots had danced behind my eyes, and I had screamed his name towards the heavens. His dick was as big as I had suspected, and the man knew how to use it.
Everything had been going as I had asked. Lorcan had stuck to the rules, but when he had asked me if I liked getting fucked, for a split-second in time, I had wanted to tell him the truth. I had wanted to stop him and confess that I wanted more. I wanted to tell him how I wanted his hands all over me. I wanted to tell him that I’ve never had a man go down on me and I wanted him to be my first. I wanted to ask him if he thought it was possible for his fingers to replace the memory of someone else’s fingers.
For one split-second, I had wanted to try.
Then afterwards, I had actually panicked that Lorcan might want to stay and do the exact thing I had belittled, and that was cuddle.
And it wasn’t that I’ve never cuddled before, because I have. I didn’t have an issue with a man holding me. I didn’t have an issue with affection. Lorcan just made me want more, and I needed some space to wrap my mind around that.
I needed time to decide if this was something I really wanted to do. Was telling Lorcan the truth going to ruin everything? We were going to share the same godchildren, so it wouldn’t do well to ruin a possible friendship.
Picking up the phone, I fired off a text. It was past noon, and I knew Gage probably had Mystic at home with her feet propped up, so there was a good chance I’d get an immediate reply.
Me:I slept with Lorcan last night
I didn’t get the reply I was expecting. Instead, my phone started ringing, and I had to laugh.
Answering the phone, I was still laughing. “That was quick.”
“Like…sex-slept with, or you-had-the-flu-and-he-was-in-the-neighborhood-so-he-checked-on-you-and-took-care-of-you-through-the-night slept?”
“I don’t have the flu, Mystic,” I clarified.
“Oh, my Holy Jesus,” she breathed out.
“Wow,” I replied. “Is it really that much of a shocker?”
“No,” she snorted. “I’m excited because I just won a hundred bucks.”
I closed my eyes. “Don’t tell me you and your husband actually placed a bet on this?”
“Not on you sleeping with Lorcan, per se,” she hedged. “More like…a bet on how well I knew you.”