Page 46 of Our Cracked Pieces
My feet secure on the floor, I raged, “Does a woman’s consent really not matter to you?”
His entire body stiffened.
All emotion in his face wiped clean, he asked, “Is it alright if I go take care of this.” I glance down and his dick was still hard, the condom still firmly in place.
Letting out an unsteady breath, I said, “Yes, but then show yourself out, Lorcan.”
I walked away from him, heading towards my bedroom, as he made his way to the guest bathroom to take care of the condom.
Shutting the door to my bedroom, I realized I was way more damaged than I had convinced myself I was, and that fucking sucked.
Chapter 32
Lorcan~
My temper had been unleashed, and as my hands shook, taking off the condom, I wondered if I was going to be able to rein it back in before I walked out of this bathroom.
I could admit I fucked up. I’d done my best to color inside the lines, but I’d forgotten myself and crossed the line. However, that mistake did not make me a rapist. When I thought of everything Molly had gone through in college, Rowan questioning my character, in such a vicious way, had me seeing red, no matter how many times I blinked.
Dropping the condom in the trash, then washing my hands, I counted to ten before walking out of the bathroom. My intent really was to just walk out the front door and forget this mess ever happened, but I couldn’t. I couldn’t leave with Rowan thinking I was the type of man who would sexually assault a woman.
I headed towards the back of her apartment, and there were two shut doors, and I tried the first one first. Opening it, I found her office. It was designed as more of a cozy study, but it was obvious where she did her off-the-clock work.
Shutting the door, I walked over to the second door on the left of the hallway. I tried the knob, and it wasn’t locked. When I pushed it open, Rowan was sitting on her bed, staring at the floor. I knew she heard me opening the door, but she didn’t bother to look up.
“That’s the second time you’ve accused me of not being able to take ‘no’ for an answer, Rowan,” I said from the doorway. “There won’t be a third time.”
At that, she stood up and finally looked over at me. I couldn’t read her face, but then, the lights were off, the only light coming in from the window. We were both shrouded in shadows, and it seemed kind of fitting.
“You’re right,” she agreed. “There won’t be a third time.”
I knew she wasn’t referring to the accusations, so much as making it clear we were done, and it shook me how much that bothered me. I knew I liked her, but I never realized just how much until this moment. The feeling was rather unpleasant, to say the least.
“So, that’s it?”
She nodded. “That’s it.”
And because she’s already accused me of forcing myself upon women, I turned and walked away from her bedroom. And I kept walking until I got to her front door. I even got as far as unlocking it before I just froze.
I stood there, my mind telling me to turn the knob and walk the fuck out, but everything else telling me not to go. Everything else telling me that Gage was probably right about what was happening here.
If it were another man, a long-lost love, I would expect tears and remorse, not anger. Anger hinted at something else.
Something dark.
Something unfathomable.
Of course, that wasn’t the truth, though. Women got attacked all the time. They were violated all the time, and it wasn’t always necessarily a physical violation. Too many men didn’t understand how complex women were, and the damage we did them was often irreparable.
I didn’t want to be that man.
I didn’t want to walk out on Rowan without trying.
I let go of the doorknob and went and leaned up against the back of the couch. My hands on either side of me, I white-knuckled the fabric-covered wood, counting to ten again. I was pushing back everything I needed to in order not to lose sight of the fact that this wasn’t about me.
This was about her.
This was about us.
