Page 76 of Resurrecting the Enemy
Lake set her backpack on the floor and went to go stand by the balcony windows. She stared out into the yard and it felt like my entire life was tied up to this one moment in time.
When she finally spoke, it wasn’t what I wanted to hear. “This doesn’t change anything, Ramsey,” she said. “I still don’t want to forgive you.”
My lungs filled and emptied with a sigh of relief.
I walked up behind her, wrapped my arms around her waist, and pulled tightly. “But you didn’t say youcan’tforgive me, Lake.”
“I would be stupid to forgive you,” she added. “You’re the worst thing that’s ever happened to me, Ramsey.” I refused to believe that. My actions might have been the worst thing that’s ever happened to her, but not me.
Plus, she was letting me hold her.
“I love you, Lake,” I told her, my arms tightening around her. “Find a way to forgive me because I’m not letting you go.”
“I could always tell my parents,” she threatened. “And then ask them to go live with my Aunt Janelle in Pennsylvania.”
I reached up and pull her hair away from her neck. I leaned down and kissed the soft skin just behind her ear. She shivered, and I was back to using my ace in the hole.
“You could,” I agreed. “But then I’d go after your parents and aunt, and then go after you.” I placed another kiss against her neck after delivering that dark promise.
And then she really threatened to drop me to my knees when her entire body began to shake, and she started crying in my arms. I turned her around and pulled her close as she cried into my chest, and her pain was enough that, if I were a better person, I’d let her go.
However, I wasn’t.
“Baby,” I whispered in her hair, “I’m so fucking sorry. I’m so goddamn sorry, Lake.”
She was shaking her head, her face pressed against my chest. “I don’t care how sorry you are,” she lied.
“Yeah, you do,” I replied. “Because you know I’m not lying to you.” She started crying harder. “I might have been cruel, I might have been aggressive, and I might have been an asshole, but I’ve never lied to you, Lake. Even when the facts were ugly and you were fighting against them, I still never lied to you.”
“I hate you,” she insisted. “I hate you so much.”
“And I love you,” I countered. “I love you so damn much, baby.”
She looked up at me, and she looked a hot mess. Her face was splotchy, her eyes were red, and her makeup smeared, but she was still the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. Love did that. Love made you recognize a beauty that was deeper than visual. Love made the girl in my arms looked better at her worst than other girls at their best.
“I need you to take me home,” she said quietly, and her words were like a kick to the chest.
“No,” I replied a bit desperately. “I’ll do anything you ask of me, except that.”
“I don’t-”
My lips came down on hers, stopping her pleas for escape. Was it wrong that I was trying to manipulate her again, knowing what my touch did to her? Fuck yeah, it was. But I never pretended to be a good guy. I never pretended to have morals. I never pretended to be anything other than what I was. When I wanted something, I got it. Whether it was given to me or I took it, I always succeeded, and I never wanted anything like I wanted Lake.
I needed her.
Sliding my hands in her hair and holding her captive, I pulled back and demanded, “Say yes, baby.” Lake whimpered and the sound hit my dick like a sledgehammer. “Let me show you how sorry I am.”
“Ramsey, I-”
“Let me love you, Lake,” I begged because that’s all I had left, and it was no less than she deserved. Her blue eyes filled immediately, and the significance of her regretful nod wasn’t lost on me.
Lake was never going to forgive me.
She was going to stay with me, and she might even love me one day, but she was never going to forgive me for what I did to her, and I was going to have to live with that for the rest of my life.
That was my penance.
I was going to have her forever, but I was never going to have all of her. She was always going to hold a piece of herself back because Lake was never going to trust me not to turn on her again.
