Page 25 of You Again
“Whitney?”
The succubus in question slapped her hands on her hips and just glared like she had the right. “Yeah, my ex-girlfriend,” I clarified. “I hadn’t mentioned her before now because she wasn’t worth mentioning.” Whitney gasped.
“Oh,” Henley whispered. “Let me guess. She’s the reason you were at the bar that day.”
“She was.” Before Henley could get the wrong idea, I added, “She’s here, trying to tell me she’s pregnant with my child.”
“Oh, well…that’s…big news,” she muttered hesitantly. “Con…uhm…gratulations?”
I snorted. “She’s lying, like the lying, cheating horrible human being that she is.”
Whitney’s outrage could be heard down the street. “How dare you? Iampregnant,” she insisted.
I kept Henley on the line as I addressed Whitney’s ridiculousness. “You might be pregnant, but that child is most certainly not mine, Whitney.”
“How can you say that?” she squawked. “We’ve only been broken up for a couple of months.”
“Three, to be exact,” I corrected her. “But considering that we hadn’t slept together a month, or so, before that because I was working on the Telecorp software, you would have missed your period a month before we broke up, Whitney. Unlike you, because you were getting dick on the regular, I kept track of how little we were having sex because the neglect on my part bothered me. It’s the reason I shut down shop early that day to surprise you.”
She crossed her arms over her chest and tried to stare me down. “Are you sure about that?”
I snorted. “Let’s not forget the fact that I always used the condoms I made sure to buy myself. I’m not ready for kids, and I made sure to take every precaution short of abstinence.” My next statement was said for two reasons. First, I wanted Henley to hear how much she’s come to mean to me. Second, I wanted Whitney to hear how much Henley meant to me. “There’s only one woman I have ever fucked raw and didn’t give a fuck about protection with, Whitney. And that’s the woman on the phone with me right now.”
“Dash…” Henley’s voice carried through Whitney’s dramatic horror.
“But if you want, we can take a paternity test, and all that jazz. But I know that kid, if there’s even a kid, isnotmine.”
“He left me pregnant!” Whitney screamed, the truth coming out. “Glen left once he found out I was pregnant!”
I sighed.
I really didn’t need this shit.
“Soooo…uh, I take it we’ll just do this tomor-”
“Fuck no,” I scoffed, cutting Henley off. “If you think for one second I’m going to hold off on tonight for the hot mess in front of me, you’re out of your mind.”
“Be kind,” Henley admonished. “If it wasn’t for her, we never would have met.”
“Don’t care,” I replied easily because I didn’t. “I’ll be on my way in a bit.” I almost tacked on those famous three words, but I didn’t want to share that moment with Whitney standing before me, looking like a complete disaster. “See you soon.”
“Okay,” she chuckled. “See you soon.”
I hung up the phone and slipped it back in my pocket. I really wanted nothing to do with Whitney or her less than ideal situation, but Henley’s request that I bekindmade me feel sort of obligated not to be a complete dick.
I stared at the woman who I once thought I might marry and said the kindest thing I could think of. “Good luck. Hope the baby’s healthy. And I never want to see you again.” I stepped back and slammed the door in her face.
I let out a deep breath and congratulated myself. Whitney deserved way worse than that, but not because she was a cheating tramp.
No.
She deserved worse because she came back just when I was finally moving forward with Henley. And anyone trying to jeopardize what I had with Henley deserved way, way worse.
