Page 38 of The Problem with Dating
But what I did know, was that I couldn’t have her flinching at my movements or worried about my moods. I couldn’t have any woman behaving like that around me.
That would fucking kill me.
“Gideon?”
I turned around at her voice, and I found that she’d followed me into the living room. I didn’t know what I was supposed to do, so I did what I thought was right. “I’m sorry,” I told her.
Her brows furrowed in confusion. “For what?”
“Echo, if I’ve been too aggressive in the bedroom or-”
“Stop,” she snapped. “Don’t go there, Gideon.”
Seriously? “How can I not?” I felt like pulling my fucking hair out. “Christ, when I think of the marks I’ve left-”
“Don’t,” she said a little more forcefully. “Don’t do this, Gideon. Do not compare yourself to something you know nothing about.”
And that pissed me off.
“And why don’t I know anything about it?” I snapped. “How in the fuck could you keep something like that from me?”
“Because look what’s happening,” she cried out. “Because you’re already looking at me differently, and I didn’t want that.”
My brows shot up. “You think I’m looking at your differently because your ex put hands on you?”
“Well, aren’t you?”
“No,” I practically yelled at her. “I’m flipping the fuck out because you flinched from me, Echo. You flinched, making me think that you believe I’m the type of man who would hit you, and that was fucked-up enough as it was. But then, I find outwhyyou flinched, and I’m not supposed to question it?”
“What we do in the bedroom has nothing to with my marriage,” she claimed.
“So, those time when I was holding you down, hard enough to leave bruises on your arms, you weren’t thinking of him?”
She blanched, but quickly recovered. Her voice was cold and sure when she said, “Get out of my house.”
“Why? Don’t like seeing the truth for what it is?”
“I left Marco in my past the day I walked away from him. Well, before my divorce, in fact,” she said. “I didn’t take him with me to live with my aunt. I didn’t take him to school with me when I went back for my re-certifications. I didn’t bring him with me when I bought this house. And I for sure as fuck didn’t take him with me into your bedroom.”
“But that’s not entirely true, now, is it?” I argued. “If you had truly left him behind, like you’re claiming, then you never would have flinched earlier.” Her chin came up and I could tell that was a little bit of truth she didn’t want to acknowledge. “He’s here, even if you don’t want to believe it.”
She was quiet for a bit before she responded to my claim. “Maybe,” she conceded. “But he was never in the bedroom with us. Everything we did was everything I desired. Craved, even.” It was so hard to believe her, but what the fuck did I know about women and their struggles? “I get off on the things you do to me, Gideon.Allthe things you do to me. And if you’re suddenly going to start lowering your voice around me and start making love to me instead of fucking me, well, then, I guess this is where we part ways.”
Un-fucking-believable. “Are you serious, right now?”
“I’m not attracted to the man you’re going to pretend to be,” she said. “I’m attracted to the man youare.To the man you’ve shown me this past week.” Echo shook her head, and anger morphed into sadness, and that sent a surge of panic straight through me. “So, I flinched. So what?” she challenged. “Does that mean I’m a victim again? Does that mean I’m traumatized? Does that mean I haven’t moved on? Well, I have news for you, Gideon. I am not a victim or traumatized. I’d been victimized but I got out before it could traumatize me. And I have moved on. I flinched because, in all the three years that I’ve been divorced, I still haven’t met a man who’s showed me a different side to relationships. I still only know the last serious relationship I was in. These past few years, I was too busy getting my life together to get serious with anyone, and the first time I do, he doesn’t trust me to know my own mind.”
“That’s not true,” I automatically denied.
“Yes, it is,” she countered. “I was hoping, with you, I’d learn that I didn’t need to flinch, but I can see that’s not the case.”
“Don’t, Echo,” I bit out. “Do not do this.”
“I need you to leave, Gideon.”
I was about to inform her that she better call the police to get me out of her house, but just then, her phone started ringing again, and I knew I needed to get out of there before I really lost my shit and ruined things for good.
There was so much I wanted to say to her, but I didn’t know where to begin. So, I left to regroup, but this shit with Echo was far from over.
