Page 30 of The Problem with Dating
“Okay, kids, knock it off,” Sayer injected. “Don’t make me put you both in time-out.”
We both flipped him off.
Eyeing my older brother, I asked, “How long did it take you to know Monroe was the one for you?”
Sayer chuckled softly, but his face said it all. One thing was for certain, and that was that both my brothers were completely and irrevocably in love with their wives. They both ended up with instant families and those families really looked good on them.
“Probably a couple of weeks after moving in next door to her,” he replied. “She had been coming home from work, and I’d been getting ready to leave for my first day stretch, and I remember thinking I liked the blouse she had on the first day I’d ever laid eyes on her versus the one she’d been wearing.” He chuckled. “I knew I was toast when I realized I could recall her exact appearance from the first day I’d ever seen her.”
“So, you don’t think a week is too soon to be moving her into my place?” I half-joked.
“The womanstillslept with you after being a colossal dickstick, Gid,” Nate stressed. “Lock her the fuck down because she’s probably the only woman on the planet who’s willing to ignore what a giant jackass you are and still get naked with you.”
“The man’s got a point, Gid,” Sayer added.
“Fuck you, both,” I retorted. “I’m not that bad.”
“I beg to differ,” Nate replied. “Have you forgotten how you killed my dog?”
My head reared back. “I was six. And it was a stuff animal, might I remind you.”
“You still killed him,” he stubbornly said.
“I didn’t kill him, Nate. He accidentally got thrown in the laundry and unraveled when he went through the wash cycle,” I corrected him.
“And who…” He did finger quotes. “…‘accidentally’threw him in the laundry? Huh?”
I pointed at him. “You seriously need some help,” I told him. “You need a licensed professional, Nathan.”
Sayer winced. “Yeah, I heard about your girl liking golf,” he said, adding more fuel to Nathan’s crazy fire. “Golf? Really?”
“Right?” Nate scoffed.
“Oh, Sweet Baby Jesus,” I growled. “Can you two please stick to the script?”
“I’m just saying,” Nate mumbled.
“So, basically, you’re in love and you’re panicking because you think it’s too soon. And you have no idea if she loves you back or if she’s just riding your dick to kill time? Yeah?”
I looked at my older brother and almost knocked him cold. “Now who’s being the dick?”
“But am I wrong?”
I let out a deep breath and cracked my neck from side-to-side. “No,” I admitted. “You’re not wrong.”
“Is there a problem with taking things slow, though?” Sayer’s head and mine both turned to eye Nathan. His brows shot up. “What?”
“You’regoing to talk about taking things slow?” Sayer asked incredulously. “Dude, you’re the one who contemplated assault and kidnapping when you first met Andie. Or did you forget?”
Nate rolled his eyes. “We’re not talking about me,” he pointed out. “We’re talking about Gid.”
My brothers were both stupid.
“How about I just ask her how she feels about me?” I suggested. “You know, like an adult?
“Well, I suppose there’s always that option, too,” Nathan conceded.
“When are you going to tell Mom,” Sayer asked.
