Page 32 of The Problem with Sports
But then, neither was she.
Chapter 17
Andrea~
Pretty sure I was in trouble.
It was Sunday afternoon, and Grant wasn’t due home for a few more hours yet, so I came over to Rachel’s to spill all the gossip. Charlie had taken their kids, Sarah and Mark, to visits with their grandparents on Charlie’s side. And thank God because after spending Friday night, Saturday, Saturday night, and Sunday morning being dicked down by a very impressive penis and the equally impressive man attached to it, I needed to talk to her.
Pronto.
We were sitting outside on the back patio, the weather warm, but not unbearable. The iced tea wasn’t very icy anymore, but we had more important matters to discuss.
“Wow.”
“You have no idea,” I exhaled. “I can barely walk, Rach.”
“Well, I guess it stands to reason,” she said supportively. “He’s a big guy. It’s expected the equipment would be big, too.”
I let out a deep sigh. “It’s not just his equipment, Rach,” I admitted. “I really like him. He’s not at all what I imagined a professional athlete to be, you know.” She smiled softly. “And he adores Grant,” I added. “What more could I ask for?”
“And you’re freaking out why, exactly?”
“Fear of too good to be true?” I wasn’t exactly sure why I was anxious about it all, other than the fact that I could seriously see myself getting caught up in Nathan’s wave and drowning beneath it.
“Andie, babe, you’ve always known you were going to have to get back out there again,” Rachel pointed out. “And because life is a sadistic sonofabitch, you also knew there could be some hits and misses. Dating is effin’ brutal, woman.”
I laughed. “Thanks. I feel so much better.”
Rachel gave me a lopsided grin. “All I’m saying is to just enjoy Nathan,” she advised. “If it works out, great. If it doesn’t, it’s not the end of the world.” She was essentially repeating the same thing I had said to Steven.
“I just never…I’m not sure how I feel about my feelings,” I confessed.
She cocked her head. “What do you mean?”
“I really like Nathan,” I repeated. “And I wasn’t expecting to.”
It was so hard to put into words. I was over Steven, I really was. I didn’t have any farfetched fantasies that we’d get back together or any pockets of doubt over our divorce. Sure, we got along now, but things had been horrible the year before I finally felt like I had to divorce him. He had been awful and had handled Grant’s health condition all wrong. The ugliness was something that I’d never be able to forgive, never mind forget. That alone was enough for me to know that I was over Steven.
Liking someone knew felt scary and like another step. Sex with someone else had been another step butlikingthem wasn’t just another step; it was abigstep.
“I just don’t want to confuse sex with something more,” I told her. “I like him, and this weekend was damn near magical, but…I’m kind of upset with myself that I’m feeling more about this weekend than I should.”
“According to who?” she asked not unkindly.
“I don’t want to rush it-rushmyself,”I said.
Rachel took a drink of her watered-down iced tea before saying, “Andie, Charlie chased me for months after I called him an idiot.” I couldn’t stop my smile. It really was a sweet story. Well, if you took out Rachel storming the building. And Rachel causing a scene. And Rachel calling Charlie an idiot. Seriously, if you took out the rage and drama, it really was a sweet story. “Love at first sightdoesexist.”
“I’m not saying it doesn’t,” I countered. “I’m just not ready to crash and burn just yet.”
“And you’re positive you will?”
“No,” I admitted. “But I had concerns even when I thought I could accept this for a casual fling, now that I’m finding that I actually like the man…” I shrugged a shoulder. “Maybe I’m just a little gun shy.”
“Don’t beat yourself up too badly about it, Andie,” she said. “It’s only been two years since things with Steven officially ended. Maybe you just need to tell Nathan that you need to go slow.”
“It’s a little too late for that, don’t you think?” I deadpanned. “I spent the past two nights naked in his bed.”
