Page 47 of The Problem with Fire
Fuck.
This shit sucked, and I really wasn’t sure how much more I could take.
I had never planned on telling Monroe that I loved her in the middle of a neighborhood barbecue while her ex-husband stood by, their daughter looked on, our neighbor watched, and some stranger waited in the wings to ask her out, but that’s what happened.
Fuck.
My.
Life.
The worst part of it all was that she might have paled a bit, but other than that, she hadn’t reacted or said a goddamn thing about my declaration of love.
Not one goddamn thing.
She had given me and Thomas the whatfor and had gone to see to her daughter. And while, intellectually, I knew that was the right move and what mattered most at the time, emotionally, I was a fucking mess. Monroe’s casual comment about how I had enough options that I didn’t need to fight over her told me exactly what she thought about Daria’s kiss. And every moment that passed without an explanation, was a moment longer where Monroe thought I was a cheater.
I wasn’t a cheater. My last serious relationship, eons ago, had been going downhill when I had started suspecting that Amy had already moved on before finally ending things with me because my schedule had been too hard for her to deal with. Though, I’d never found a smoking gun, the sickening feeling of doubt had been enough to know that I never wanted to feel like that again. And in turn, I’d never do that to someone else.
I was about at my wit’s end when my doorbell rang, and I ran to my freakin’ front door.
Yes. Ran.
When I whipped the door open, Monroe was standing on the other side. I grabbed her by the front of her shirt and pulled her inside. I shut the door and locked it like a lunatic. Now, some people might argue that locking the door was a form of false imprisonment, while others could argue that it was a sign of love and devotion. Sure, the first group might have legal degrees and whatnot, but what were laws in the face of love?
As soon as the door was securely locked and Monroe couldn’t escape, I turned towards her and let go of her shirt, completing ignoring the look of shock splattered across her perfect face.
I took a deep breath, and then threw myself on her sword. “Everyone knew we were fighting Thursday because my mood had been shit,” I started. “I knew I was wrong for behaving like a jerk after that bullshit with Thomas, and I hadn’t bothered to hide what I’d been feeling.” Monroe’s chocolate orbs were giving nothing away, but I continued anyway. “Daria’s interest in me has never been a secret, Monroe. But then, she’s not exactly picky either. We have a great brotherhood at the firehouse, but when I had given you the rundown of my job and the men who were the most important to me, I hadn’t mentioned that Daria has slept with Jake and Carl already.” I shrugged a shoulder. “It didn’t seem relevant, and frankly, it was their personal business. If they could sleep with the same woman and see her every day and have no issues, it wasn’t my place to comment. So, even if I had found Daria attractive, I would never go there with her because I’m not a big sharer, baby.” Monroe’s face softened, but I didn’t want to get my hopes up just yet. “What really sealed the deal was when I’d heard that she had hit on Lance, knowing he was married and very much in love with his wife. I lost all personal respect for her then, even though she was a great administrative assistant.”
Monroe’s brows furrowed. “Isn’t Lance the one who’s been with his wife since they were twelve, or something?” It warmed me all over that Monroe had cared enough to pay attention to the details when we had been getting to know each other those three days we’d spent together.
I just hoped she still cared.
I nodded. “Yeah. That’s him.”
Her nose scrunched up in distaste. “Hm,” she huffed.
“Exactly,” I agreed.
“So, then, what did I witness that day?”
I stepped to her, so I was standing closely in front of her. It killed me not being near her. “She had come up to me and had started being snide and nasty. I’d already put my foot down when that disaster with the building inspection had happened, but I got even more pissed when she hadn’t taken the hint. I got nasty right back and it had gotten ugly.” Monroe winced. “It went so far as me telling her I wasn’t attracted to open buffets-”
Monroe’s eyes widened. “Sayer!” she scolded.
“I know, I know,” I replied. “But I was just in such a horrible mood, and after that shit with Thomas, Daria was just one more person trying to ruin what we had. I was just…in a very bad place at the time.”
“So…so what happened?”
“She tried to slap me, and that’s when I knew I had to get out of there,” I told her. “I stormed out of the building, and I was so goddamn furious, I hadn’t seen you or your car in the parking lot. But I found out later from Garrett that she had seen you, and so, she had run up to me in the pretense of an apology, and when she got close enough, that’s when she kissed me.”
“It was one of the worst things I’ve ever had to witness,” Monroe confessed, and I really had to work hard on not wishing any ill on Daria.
“When I realized what was happening, I pushed her away, but you were already down the street.” I stepped closer, but this time, I place my hands on her arms. “It had been a mess with shouting and…it was just a mess. I had told Chief I was transferring, and I had left to chase you. I was home, staring out my window for hours, before it had dawned on me that Leta was with Thomas and you had no reason to come home. I didn’t know where Karma lived, so I could hunt you down, so I had gone back to work.” Her lips twitched, and I took that as a good sign. “I asked for my transfer because no way would I continue to work where someone was trying to undermine you by hitting on me all the time, but Chief had informed me that, after interviewing everyone and finding out what was going on, he had fired Daria.” I grinned down at her. “Our new administrative assistant’s name is Russell, and he’s happily married to a female, so no possible drama there.”
“That fight-”
“Monroe, I was wrong,” I said, interrupting her. “That fight was just a fight. I was wrong, and I was going to beg for forgiveness like any man who valued his balls. Daria doing what she did doesn’t take away from the facts. Our fight was just a fucking fight, baby. I get you thought it might be more because of what you saw, but it wasn’t what you thought.” Monroe eye narrowed thoughtfully. She was absorbing everything I’d just thrown at her, and I prayed she believed me. Especially, since it was the truth.
