Page 41 of Real Shadows
I heard the door creak open, and when I looked over, I saw Xander walking into my hospital room, and I’d never been so happy to see someone in my life. “Xander.”
I struggled to sit up as he made his way over to the bed. “Goddamn it, Fallon,” he swore. “Baby, I’ve been dying without you.”
The tears started and they went on forever. I didn’t know how to stop them. The adrenaline crash was real and brutal. I couldn’t get a handle on my emotions, and I was terrified Xander would think I wasn’t worth the nightmare that took place in his home.
“I’m s…sorry, Xand…Xander,” I wept. “I’m so, so sorry.”
“Hey.” I felt him crawl into the bed with me, and he gathered me up in his arms. Neither of us cared about the wires or monitors. “Baby, you have nothing to be sorry for. God, Fallon,” he breathed, “if anything, I’m the one who should be sorry.”
I didn’t want to go back and forth with the guilt. This wasn’t a contest. After a few moments of silence, I asked, “Have you been here the entire time?”
“No,” he replied, his lips kissing my hair. “I had to go down to the police station and answer their questions. Give them my statement. Since, uh, we’re not married, I wasn’t given the choice. But believe me, Fallon, had I had the choice, I would have been here with you the entire time.” His arms were like bands around me. “I thought I lost you, baby.”
We were silent for a few moments, just basking in the comfort of each other’s arms, being thankful to both be alive. After a while, he finally asked, “What happened in there?”
What could I say? To repeat the story felt false. I could say the words, but they could never convey the emotions felt in those terrifying moments where Thomas almost shot me, and the police killed him. It wasn’t all perfectly orchestrated like an action movie. It had been messy and horrifying. And I knew I was going to need months, if not years, of therapy to be able to sleep at night again.
“Thomas…he…he said he was going to kill me,” I told him. “He said I was going to be with him or no one, and he didn’t care if he was killed as long as I was too.” Xander’s arms tightened around my body. “He cocked…uhm, the cocked the gun, and as soon as it sounded, one of the officers shot him in the head.” Chills ran down my spine and I knew Xander could feel me trembling. “I don’t know how many times he was shot because I collapsed, and then, the officers got me out of there.”
“Jesus Christ,” he swore. “I’m so fucking sorry.”
“I just can’t believe it,” I sobbed. “That’s not the boy I grew up with, Xander. How…how could this happen?”
Xander sighed and held me tighter. “No one knows what it is that connects us to someone, Fallon,” he replied. “But since I was willing to die for you, I can understand how he was, too.”
“I love you,” I whispered, and not because I was in shock, but because now I was no longer afraid to put a name to what I was feeling for Xander. Leaving the attic went beyond doing the right thing. I had left the attic because I was in love with Xander.
“Fallon, you’ve suffered a-”
I pulled away from him and look up at him. “I know what you’re thinking, Xander,” I said, interrupting him. “That I’m just experiencing the aftermath of my chaotic emotions, but I’m not.” He didn’t look convinced, so I added, “Why do you think I left the attic, Xander?”
“I know it’s probably too soon and everything is such a fucking mess, but, goddamn, Fallon, I love you, too, baby,” he replied and everything in me crashed.
I started sobbing and it just didn’t stop.
After I finally calmed down, Xander got off the bed and sat down on the chair next to bed. He had a hold of my hand as he said, “While I was waiting to be questioned by the police, I called Trevor and…told him some of what happened. I told him you were in the hospital, and he and Karla were in the visitor waiting room when I got here.”
Oh, God. I had forgotten about Karla. “Can I see them?” I didn’t see why I couldn’t. I wasn’t injured beyond my emotional and mental state, and I so wanted to see them.
Xander gave me a small smile. “You can only have two visitors, but I’ll see if I can sneak them by. If not, I’ll wait outside, so they can see you.”
I nodded, and even though I didn’t want Xander to leave my sight, I needed Karla. I needed the connection that only she will understand. When she rushed in, Trevor and Xander behind her, I broke down. She immediately put her arms around me. “Oh, Fallon,” she cried. “I’m so glad you’re going to be okay.”
After a couple of moments, I got myself under control again, and she let go to sit down in the chair Xander had been sitting in earlier. “So am I,” I told her honestly.
“What happened?” she asked quietly.
I looked at her and then glanced over at Xander and Trevor. I knew I was going to need to share the details in order to move past what Thomas had done. Holding it all in wasn’t going to help anyone.
I took a deep breath and told them everything. When I was finished, Trevor looked pissed while Karla looked heartbroken. But then, she knew Thomas just like I did. He was a stranger to Xander and Trevor, but to me and Karla, he had been someone. He had been a friend at one time.
“Jesus,” Karla breathed out. “I’m…” She slumped back in her chair. “I’m not sure what I should be feeling, right now.”
I knew exactly what she meant. It felt like I was feeling everything but nothing at the same time. “He sounded like he really believed that it was love,” I told her. “I don’t think he saw it as stalking. I really think he thought he was…romancing me or something.”
Karla reached over and clasped my hand. “Well, it’s over now,” she said. “There’s still a lot of healing to be had, but at least you won’t be looking over your shoulder anymore.” Her eyes watered. “You can finally work on having a real life, Fallon.”
I looked over at Xander, and it wasn’t until he sent me a slow wink and tender smile, that I was hit with the realization that I had a chance now. A chance to be near my best friend and a chance at a real family. A life where I could love Xander freely and, maybe, one day, get married and have children.
