Page 5 of Real Shadows
But I still felt the unrest of the last six years burrowing inside every muscle in my body. The aches of stress, paranoia, and fright were so embedded in my body, I no longer knew how to exist without them. If I woke up one morning feeling wonderful, I wouldn’t know what to do with myself.
Before checking out of the motel room this morning, I had walked over to the lot next door where it housed a quaint little diner. I had eaten a quick breakfast, gone back to the motel, gathered my stuff and then had checked out. Now I was sitting in my car, ready to finish my road trip and get to Brant. I pulled out my cheap disposable cellphone and dialed the only number I knew by heart and have dialed for human interaction in six years.
Karla answered on the third ring. “Hey, girlie,” she greeted. “How’s the drive going?”
“It’s good,” I answered. “I was going to try to drive all the way through, but I thought it’d be best if I took a breather. I don’t need to be on the road sleepy and desperate. Not a good combo.”
“No, it’s not,” she replied softly. “When can I expect you?”
“Probably super late, Kar,” I told her. “I’m sorry I didn’t plan this better b-”
“Stop it,” she chided. “You know it doesn’t matter what time you show up.”
“Well,” I hedged, “I…uh, was kind of thinking that maybe I should keep driving and make random motel stops until I get to Wisconsin, maybe. I can backtrack by sleeping in my car.”
“Fallon,” she gasped in a universal mom voice, “you know damn well how dangerous sleeping in your car is.”
“I know…but I feel like, I don’t know…like I need to do more to throw him off my track,” I reasoned. “And I’ll make sure to sleep somewhere safe. Or…maybe, I can plead with a motel owner, and tell them that I’m fleeing from my abusive cop husband or something.”
Karla’s sigh sounded worrisome. “Do…do whatever you feel you need to do, Fallon,” she relented. “I just want you to be safe.”
“I know,” I replied because I really did know. Karla’s concern for me was genuine and I felt guilty for bringing my drama to her doorstep, no matter how much she welcomed me. “I would just feel better knowing I did my best to keep this from…tainting you.”
She huffed. “Do not worry about me, Fallon,” she scoffed. “I have Trevor, and he’s enough to make me feel safe.”
My heart panged with envy. I haven’t dated since the second time I moved and Rob, my boyfriend at the time, had dumped me because he said my level of crazy exceeded that of most girls.
Normal girls.
After that, my need to be a part of someone waned to the nonexistent need it was now. Having no faith in the police, no faith in men, and the refusal to endanger possible friends, I had started living a solitary existence. I had worked where I could get a job but kept to myself. Sure, there were moments of loneliness, but with fear and paranoia ever present, those brief moments didn’t last long.
“Well, I figure I could arrive at your place tonight, sleep for a few hours, drive to Milwaukee, which is only nine hours or so, and dive back. That’d be an eighteen-hour drive. That’s not too bad.”
I could hear Karla hemming on her end of the phone. “Hmm, that could work,” she reluctantly agreed. “You could probably even drive a little further and stay the night somewhere else in Wisconsin, giving off the impression that Wisconsin is where you’re looking to settle down.”
“I can probably go a little south and stay my final night in Indiana,” I said, thinking out loud. “It could work.”
“Hey,” she burst out, suddenly sounding positive, “since it’s summertime and I’m not working, I could totally ride with you. We can take turns driving and that way it will cut your travel time in half.”
“Karla, I can’t ask you to do that,” I told her, immediately refusing her offer. I’ve never met her husband and the last thing I wanted to do was involve his wife more than I already have.
“You’re not asking me,” she pointed out.
“Besides,” I cut in, “I have no idea who this person is or how they are able to find me. The last thing I need is to…set them off if they think I’m with someone. Stalking me might not be enough if they think someone is helping me.”
“Okay, okay, okay,” she rushed out. “It was just an idea.”
“No, no, no,” I quickly said. “I love that you offered, but…Karla, you have no idea the guilt I feel dragging you into this. I’d rather…I’d rather keep you out of the fray as much as possible.”
“Fallon, you’re my friend,” she whispered through the phone. “You’ve been my friend since we were children. You got me through some of the worst times in my life.”
“The same goes,” I told her. “I just…I need to feel that I can controlsomeof this, you know. And that includes how I limit how much this touches those around me, especially you.”
“Okay,” she mumbled unhappily. “I get it, Fal. I do.”
“Thank you,” I breathed, relieved.
“So, call me when you get here, and then you can catch up on some sleep,” she said, reciting the plan. “Go do your extra drive and, when you get back, everything will be set up in the guest room for you.”
