Page 39 of Real Shadows
And, as if the guilt weren’t enough, everything that made me a man accused me of cowardice. How could I fucking leave her in there? How could I walk out alive to wait? It didn’t matter that there were people inside with her that were more qualified to protect her. It didn’t matter that they threatened to arrest me. It didn’t matter that I knew my presence might do more harm than good.
None of that mattered.
At the end of the day, I left her to deal with a horrible situation alone. Fuck the cops. Fallon was just a job to them. I’m the one who should have protected her better.
I’m the one who failed.
I just prayed to God that she was alive, so that I could make it up to her. I’ll spend the rest of my life trailing after her, begging for forgiveness, if that’s what I had to do.
As I was bargaining with God, one of the officers came walking out of the house and I didn’t care anymore. They could arrest me or fucking shoot me; I needed to get to Fallon.
“Sir!”
I ignored the officer who had escorted me out and raced towards the house.“Fallon!”
“Sir!” Now, it was the officer who was walking out of the house that was shouting at me. He had both his hands flat up against my chest, trying to stop me from entering the house.
“Fallon!”
“Sir, you need to-”
“Xander!”
The sound of her voice was all I needed to hear. I stopped fighting and dropped my head back as I thanked God that she was alive. When I opened my eyes and looked beyond the officer who was trying to hold me back, I saw another officer walking out with Fallon in his arms.
She was covered in smeared blood.
I ran towards her and, as soon as I was able, I reached out and yanked her to me. I wrapped my arms around her not giving two fucks about the blood. “Fallon,” I whispered like a prayer. “Oh, baby.”
She was shaking, but she was holding on to me just as tightly and I knew there was going to be a long road to recovery, mentally and emotionally. “Xander,” she sobbed. “Oh, Xander, they…they…”
I had a fairly good idea of that they did without her having to explain. I knew the blood wasn’t hers, and with the last officer walking out of the house, they were all accounted for. The distant sound of an ambulance told me that I wasn’t going to have much time with her and that sent me into a panic.
“Sir, I’m going to have to ask you to step back,” the officer who seemed to be in charge said. “Your house is an official crime scene and I need you to follow me out onto the street.” I nodded but didn’t care. All that mattered was that Fallon was now safe on two fronts. Thomas was dead. He could no longer stalker her, and he no longer had a gun to her head.
With Fallon in my arms, we walked over to the patrol cars just as the ambulance pulled up to the scene. The one female officer immediately went to pull Fallon from my arms, but I held tight. The panic of letting her go was consuming me. “No,” I snapped.
The officer narrowed her bright blue eyes at me. “You don’t get to tell me no,” she snapped back. “If you careat allabout this woman you will let the paramedics check her out.” Then she went for the jugular. “You’re going to have to put whatever macho bullshit you’re going through aside and do what’s best forher.”
Before I could comment, Fallon looked up at me. “It’s okay, Xander,” she whispered. “I…please…”
My fucking heart was breaking.
How the fuck did she expect me to step back yet again? Why was everyone acting like I wasn’t the best thing for her right now?
“Fallon-”
She looked at the officer and asked, “Can you question him next to the ambulance?”
Her narrowed blue eyes softened. “Of course,” she replied. “But only if you promise to cooperate with the paramedics and not interrupt our preliminary questioning.” She reached out and rubbed Fallon’s arm. “Once you’re medically cleared, you will both have to come down to the station for official questioning.”
“That’s fine,” I agreed.
One of the paramedics walked over, and I was forced to let Fallon go. I watched as he supported her all the way back to the ambulance and I wanted to break something. Everyone else was doingmyfucking job.
I was graciously allowed to stand on the side of the ambulance as the female officer waited for the officer in charge to join us. Once he did, introductions were made. “Hello,” he started, “I’m Officer Nelson and this is Officer Brentwood. What is your name, sir?”
“Xander Raynes,” I answered.
