Page 59 of Battling the Enemy
I flinched at that.
Every word was like the lash of a whip. A lash I deserved for what I did to her.
But I couldn’t let guilt distract me from my goal here. I knew I didn’t deserve her forgiveness. I knew she deserved better. I knew I’d never be worthy.
But that didn’t matter.
I was struggling with living without her when I thought she had betrayed me, so knowing she hadn’t?
There was no way I was letting her go.
“Tell me what to do,” I repeated.
“Leave me alone,” she responded, certain of her answer. “Leave me alone and never bother me again, Deke.”
“I can’t do that,” I told her honestly.
“Well, then I don’t know what to tell you, because that’s all I want from you,” she said again.
“Delaney, I’m sorry. I-”
“I don’t want you to be sorry!” she yelled, dropping her cold act. “I don’t want an apology from you! I want you to leave me alone, Deke. I want you gone from my life, my memories, myeverything!”
I refused to believe that. I had to. I’d lose my mind otherwise. “And if you’re pregnant?”
I watched her spine snap straight, and pure loathing crawled across her beautiful features. “Then I’ll charge it to your tab,” she said, throwing my words back in my face.
“You’d really do that?” Intellectually, I knew there was nothing I could do about what choices she made regarding her body. Emotionally, I knew I deserved her words and that threat. But I couldn’t bring myself to believe she’d really do that.
Her eyes started to shine, and I knew she hated the idea as much as I did. “Luckily, we never have to find out,” she said, gracing me with a mercy I hadn’t granted her. “I started my period yesterday.”
I stepped towards her, but she matched my step and move back from me. “Delaney, I’ll do whatever you ask of me, except leave you alone,” I told her. “I fucked up. I know that, and you’ll never know how sorry I am. But I love yo-”
“Don’t,” she spat. “Do not tell me you love me. You don’t love me, Deke. You don’t know the first thing about love and how to love someone.”
“That’s not true,” I argued.
Delaney took a deep breath and I could see my presence taking a toll on her. “I’ll never forgive you, Deke. I’ll never forgive you, and I don’t want anything to do with you. I want to forget you ever tainted my life, and I want to go on to be with someone who…well, who’s not you.”
I had my hands wrapped around her upper arms and shook her in desperation. “No one else will ever have you, Delaney,” I snarled, and it didn’t matter that I was in the wrong. “You’re mine. You’re mine, and I’m sorry I didn’t take good care of you. I’m sorry I…couldn’t see past my jealousy and insecurities to treat you the way you deserve to be treated. But I am not letting you go, Lamb.Ever.” Tears started streaming down her face and they gave me hope. She had to feel something besides hate for me if she was crying, right?
Wrong.
“I don’t love you anymore, Deke,” she said, slicing me in half. “I don’t think I ever loved you or else I don’t think I would have been able to move on from you so quickly.”
She was lying.
She had to be lying.
I fucked up, and she was just punishing me by telling me these…lies.
“You don’t love me?”
Delaney shook her head. “No, Deke, I don’t.”
Chapter 36
Delaney~
