Page 42 of Battling the Enemy
I knew I couldn’t long ago, but I definitely knew I couldn’t after Deke told me he loved me.
“I’m not drunk now,” I said, stating the obvious.
“No. You’re not,” Winston whispered in agreement.
“I’m sorry, Winston,” I said dismally. “I never meant for any of this to happen.”
His arms dropped, and I saw his hands grip the counter lip behind him. “We’re not supposed to be married for another four years, Delaney,” he reminded me. “Why…why do this? Do you seriously see yourself with Deke Marlow for the next fifty years?”
No, I didn’t.
Teenage love is just that; teenage love. People in love always think it’s going to be forever. I mean, people don’t fall in love thinking it’s going to end someday. But I wasn’t one of those people. Deke said he loved me, but there’s carefree teenage love and then there’s adult going-through-hard-times love. I believed that Deke loved me right now, but a year from now? When all the novelty wears off?
I shook my head. “No, Winston,” I answered. “I don’t see myself with Deke in fifty years, but that doesn’t change how I feel.” I let out a deep breath. “We’re friends. We’ve known each other most our lives. And…and that was enough for me to stick to the agreement. I wasn’t look for…”
“Passion?” he supplied.
I gave him a tight nod. “Yeah. Passion.”God, this sucked. “And now that I know what that feels like…well, I’m not willing to settle anymore.”
“We can try t-”
I threw my hand up to stop him. “We did that once already, Winston. Webothwere left wanting,” I reminded him.
Winston stared at me for several painfully uncomfortable seconds before asking, “And what about our parents? What am I supposed to tell them?”
“I’ll handle my parents,” I said. “You…tell them the truth. I fell in love with someone and-”
“What?!”he snapped. “What the fuck do you mean youfell in lovewith someone? You’ve known Deke Marlow a fucking week, Delaney. Aweekand you’re talkinglove?Are you insane?”
I could barely get the words out of my mouth. “So what, if it’s only been a week?” I said through clenched teeth. “You don’t know how I feel.”
Winston let out a dark laugh. “Fuck, you girls,” he swore. “You chicks always think it’s love when you get dick for the first time.” There was no way he could know that I slept with Deke, but his next words stopped my thoughts. “And don’t sit there and try to tell me you haven’t fucked him already, Delaney. Deke Marlow isn’t the type of guy who goes around holding hands on chaperoned dates. And there’s no way you’d be throwing away our future if you hadn’t ridden his dick already.”
“Quit being an asshole,” I clipped out.
His brows rose. “Ah, but I see you’re not denying it,” he accused.
I stood up. “How can you be…angry?” I almost said jealous, but that didn’t sound right. “You’ve slept with dozens of girls, Winston. Why are you so bothered by who I’m sleeping with?”
“Because you’re throwing away our future!” he roared, finally losing grip on his composure. “I may have fucked my fair share of females, Delaney, but Ineverjeopardized our futures!”
“You can find someone else to further your parents’ agenda, Winston,” I pointed out. “It doesn’t have to be me!”
And the truth came out like a right hook to my ribs. “But you’re the only one who would have stayed in the background and taken it!” he yelled.
My lungs lost their ability to breathe. Even though I knew what my future with Winston would have entailed, hearing him admit it was like a slap in the face. It showed me we weren’t even friends at this point. Friends didn’t humiliate each other. He would have cheated, but more importantly, he wouldn’t have tried to hide it. My dignity wasn’t worth the effort.
He must have realized what he just admitted because his head dropped, and I could see him taking a deep breath to steady himself. “You’re a bastard,” I hissed. “You’re a selfish bastard just like our fathers.”
Winston’s head shot up and he speared me with a look so hateful, I was thankful to be on the other side of the island. “I amnothinglike those two assholes,” he seethed.
I stared at the boy who was once my friend, and I knew that, even if I wanted to forgive his careless words, my life was moving in a different direction, with or without Deke Marlow. I was no longer the same Delaney Martin I was two weeks ago.
“I’m going to call my parents tonight and let them know there will no longer be a marriage after college,” I informed him.
Winston lifted a brow. “Deke Marlow’s going to break your heart, Delaney,” he said coldly. “He’s going to ruin your ability to love along with the secured future you had with me.”
He still didn’t understand. This wasn’t about Deke. This was about me.Iwas different, no matter the outcome with Deke. “Be that as it may, Winston, it doesn’t change anything.”
