Page 25 of Battling the Enemy
“You’ve never been my doormat,” he spat. “What the fuck has gotten into you?”
Good question.
The easy answer would be alcohol, but it wasn’t that simple.
Deke Marlow is what has gotten into me. He’s made me want new things, and it was messing up my entire identity. I was no longer the girl no one paid attention to. I was no longer the girl who was happy being in the library. I was no longer the girl who had her life mapped out for her with no worries.
I was a new Delaney Martin.
I was the Delaney Martin who wanted to be with Deke, knowing it was a bad idea.
I ignored his question and instead asked another one of my own. “Why d’you do it,” I asked, jerking my head towards his face. “You had to know it wasn’t going to end well for you, Winston. No one goes up against that group.No one.”
Whatever I was expecting him to say, the absolute truth wasn’t it. I was sure Winston would make up some bullshit reason, but instead, he held truthful. “You’re supposed to be my future, Delaney,” he said. “Whether we love or hate each other, our futures have been tied together since we were ten. I really, really depended on you to be there in the end. Deke’s threatening that.”
I was probably too drunk to have this conversation, but we needed to have it. “How do you know it’s not just some…passing fancy? Maybe Deke’s just having fun, and…his interest will fizzle out in a couple of weeks. I mean, we still have college to get through.”
His arms dropped to his sides. “If you think Deke’s not in this for the long haul, you’re not as smart as I always thought you were,” he snorted. “Deke Marlow doesn’t chase or claim girls, Delaney. The fact that he’s done that with you means something.”
“Even if that’s true,” I conceded, “what were you hoping to accomplish by challenging him in front of everyone?”
He shrugged a shoulder. “I thought maybe once he knew about us, he’d back off,” he confessed. “Deke can have any girl he wants. He doesn’t need to go after a girl who’s already taken.”
“But I was never really taken, Winston,” I pointed out. “We had an agreement. It’s not like we’re in love with each other or have ever been in an actual relationship.”
“Doesn’t matter,” he countered. “For all intents and purposes, you belong to me.”
I took a swig of the vodka bottle I was holding and said the words I never thought I’d say. I said the words that were going to change everything, once and for all. “Iusedto belong to you, Winston,” I said, feeling the words in my soul. “I think we both know that’s changed.”
“What happened to Deke only doing this for fun?” he challenged. “What happened to, we still have college to get through?”
“While that’s all still true, Deke’s irrelevant, Winston,” I told him. “This isn’t about him. This is about how I no longer want to wait in the wings until it’s time to give in to our parents’ demands.”
“All of the sudden?” he barked.
“Yeah, all of the sudden,” I barked back. “Even if Deke drops me tomorrow, I finally know what it feels like to be wanted and desired. I know what it feels like towantsomeone. There’s no way I’m going back to settling for…nothing, while you continue to go out and get your kicks.”
Winston threw up his hands in frustration. “So, then, we’ll fucking date,” he threw out.
I shook my head. “I don’t want to date you, Winston,” I said. “I don’tfeelfor you other than a passing friendship, and I know you feel the same way about me. Iknowyou do.”
“But the plan-”
“Ourparents’plan,” I emphasized. “Not ours. It was neverours.”
He took a deep breath and said, “You’re drunk, Delaney. I think we need to table this conversation for another time.”
He was probably right, but I knew I’d still feel the same way later. Alcohol wasn’t making me say all these things. Alcohol was just making me say it without consequence for what my words meant. And they meant a great deal of change and unpleasantness for our parents. My words were going to ruin their plans for a future dynasty between our two families. My words were changing the direction of so many lives, and alcohol was making me not give a shit.
“Maybe you’re right,” I conceded. I patted him on his chest. “I’m off to go dance, drink, and forget that you and Deke Marlow exist.” It’d be easy to forget Winston existed, but I suspected forgetting Deke would take some more alcohol. Maybe a lobotomy even.
“Delaney, let me take you home,” Winston replied. “You don’t belong here.”
I knew I didn’t, but go big or go home, right?
I needed to…not be shy, quiet, nerdy Delaney. It was the only way I was going to be brave enough to sleep with Deke. It was the only way I was going to be able to sleep with him without him crushing everything good in me. I had to prove I could party and be cool and popular. I had to prove I was just as strong as Ava, Emerson, and Roselyn.
I couldn’t be meek Delaney Martin. Deke would crush me if I didn’t form a stronger backbone. He would run over me if I didn’t…
