Page 16 of If You Could Only Believe
But I was seeing it now.
Witnessing Sophia fall victim to how she believes people see her had me hitting my limit at record speed. I’ve never reached my rage threshold this quickly before in my life.
And while I’ve come a long way to keeping my vision clear, that red…I was seeing it now and Mason was close enough to me to know I was seeing it.
He put his hand on my shoulder and stood up. “Ms...”
Katrina looked up nervously at Mason. “R...Roth,” she filled in. “Katrina Roth, sir.”
He nodded, and by this time Aiden and Gabriel were standing as well, while the girls remained seated, but vigilant. “Ms. Roth, I can assure you that Sophia being here as Michael’s date is not a joke, a prank or anything of the kind,” he said in a voice that froze everyone around us. I knew he was pissed, but I could hardly make sense of what he was saying because my anger was clouding my surroundings. “Seeing as how my brothers and I are no longer in the sixth grade, we don’t engage in pranks anymore, and we as sure do not engage in any sort of behavior that would embarrass a woman.”
I heard her gasp. “Mr. Buch-”
“I’m not interested in an apology or explanation for your rudeness, but rest assured, Ms. Roth, the next time you address Sophia in such an insulting fashion, there will be repercussions-unless, of course, Sophia would like there to be repercussions now.”
I turned to look at Sophia wondering what she was going to say, but instead of looking at Katrina or Mason, her big, chocolate orbs were focused on me. That’s when I realized I was squeezing the fuck out of her delicate little hand. I immediately let go and felt horrible.
I don’t know what she saw or how she saw it, but ignoring everyone else around us, she asked, “Do you want to go?”Fuck yeah, I wanted to go. I couldn’t speak though, so I just nodded. She nodded back. And then turned her attention to Mason. “No, that’s fine,” she said, answering him. “But we’re going to leave.”
I felt the grip on my shoulder tighten. “You good?”
I nodded and stood up, pulling Sophia up with me. I looked over at my family and tried to give them a reassuring smile, but I knew they were worried. They had a right to be. My brothers knew what I was capable of when I was like this, but what they didn’t know, was that Sophia’s small hand in mine was keeping me tethered to reality.
I ignored Katrina altogether and let Sophia lead me out of the convention hall. We walked in complete silence, and when we made it outside, I saw that someone had called Brendan for us, reminding me, once again, how grateful I was for my brothers. My sisters-in-law have never seen me lose my shit, so they only sensed how serious shit was for me off the reactions of Mason, Aiden and Gabe, but it was my brothers who knew to treat shit delicately when I was in the moment.
I wasn’t so far gone that I didn’t open the car door for Sophia and escort her inside. I wasn’t so far gone that I forgot to buckle her in. And I wasn’t so far gone that I didn’t know what I was saying.
“I’m taking you to my place,” I informed her.
“I’d rather go home,” she whispered back. But before I could tell her that wasn’t happening, she added, “I…you don’t mind going to my place, do you?”
Yes, I did.If we went to her place, she could change her mind and kick me out at any given moment. I didn’t like that. “Why don’t you want to go to my place?”
She let out a deep sigh, and it started to cool the edges of my anger. I knew I could count on her to always tell me the truth. Sophia shrugged a dainty shoulder and replied, “I don’t want to be one of many that have been in your…at your house.”
Her reply left me short of breath. “Sophi-”
“No, Michael,” she said, stopping me. “I…I…don’t belong there.” My heart was actually breaking with each word from her sweet lips. “You should be going to parties with…with socialites and super models. You should…” Sophia was looking down at her hands wringing in her lap. “I shouldn’t even be in this car with you right now. I should be home asleep and alone.”
I didn’t comment on what she said. It could wait until we got to her place. I lowered the partition and instructed Sophia to give Brendan her address. It was only a 15-minute ride to her apartment, but the tension between us was going to turn those 15 minutes into 15 days.
The problem…well,oneof the problems, was that I had no experience with this sort of thing. Sure, I watched my brothers fuck up, but their fuck ups had been due to their egotistical ways, and their problems had been solved as a team. I didn’t think Sophia’s self-esteem could be solved by a good, old fashion Buchanan brother sit down.
About 45 hours later, and a shit ton of silence, the car finally pulled up to the curb in front of Sophia’s apartment complex. Opening my own door, I got out and walked over to the other side, opened Sophia’s door and helped her get out of the car.
She headed up the walkway towards the building entrance and I followed her, still saying nothing. Sophia was as quiet as a church mouse as she led me through the lobby and towards the elevator. The ride up was as bad as the car and I silently thanked God that she lived on the fourth floor.
The doors swooshed open and, this time, I placed my hand on the small of Sophia’s back and pretended to walk together out of the elevator and down the hallway. I vaguely took in our surroundings as she unlocked her door. The building was nice, and décor of the floors was sleek and smooth without being pretentious.
Sophia pushed the door open, and I considered it a hell of a victory when she didn’t shut the door in my face. I knew she was nervous and felt confused about my interest in her, but I didn’t know what to say to ease her doubts.
We stepped into her living room and I glanced around, taking in the room, as she took off her sweater and kicked off her heels. I removed my suit jacket and laid it across the back of her tan couch.
I still didn’t say anything as she walked into her kitchen and opened a cupboard, pulling out a can of cat food. I had forgotten about her cat. I waited patiently until she was done setting up her cat with food and water, but I didn’t mind. It gave me more time to scope out her apartment and see what I could learn from it. And as I was scanning her place, my eyes caught sight of a blur of white and gray racing towards the food trays.
Sophia walked back into the living room but stopped when she was a few feet away. “Would you like something to drink or something?”
Polite manners.
