Page 23 of If You Could Only Feel
I’d never felt uncomfortable in my own home, but watching Gabriel walk in with a suitcase in his hand, had me feeling all kinds of anxious and unsure.
And I’d really been thrown for a loop when he shut the door behind him, walked up to me, place a kiss on the top of my head and then headed towards my bedroom.
I stood there stunned for a few seconds before I got my feet to work and followed him. I must be a glutton for punishment. I couldn’t let things lie for one night before we had to tackle our work weeks.
We’d both been hungover when we flew home, so we didn’t speak much then and we had to talk. We had to talk about this whether he wanted to or not. This shit was serious.
Gabriel was standing next to my bed pulling his clothes and toiletries out of his suitcase when I walked in and,God,I wished he wasn’t so damn good looking. It made it hard to concentrate when the man looked liked like a goddamn Greek God.
Without looking up from what he was doing, he announced, “We’ll be staying this upcoming weekend in the city at my place.”
I leaned one shoulder up against the doorframe. “We are?”
“Yeah,” he answered, still unpacking his things. “I told my brothers we got married and we’re going to have a small family dinner at Mason’s so you can meet Shane and Denise.”
And just like that, my emotions spiraled into an unreasonable mess. I wanted to scream at him that I should have met his sisters-in-laws years ago. I wanted to scream at him that I shouldn’t feel this anxious about being around his brothers when I’ve been fucking him for oversix years.
I wanted to scream at him to get the hell out of my house.
My feelings were hurt that I hadn’t been worthy enough to meet them before. But now that I had his last name-no matter how temporarily-I was finally good enough to be graced by their presences.
Real or imagined, the slight stung.
“I don’t see why.” I replied, straightening upright from the doorframe.
That’s when he finally stopped his machinations and looked over at me. Gabriel’s family was everything to him. So, by the look in his face, I could tell my casual wording didn’t sit well with him. “You don’t think it’s necessary to meet your sisters-in-law or get to know your brothers-in-law better?” he asked, his voice icy.
I’ve seen Mason and Aiden, but I’ve never met them. I got a couple of head nods when they’ve been in town dropping Gabriel off at my house, but that’s it. Michael’s the only Buchanan, besides Gabriel, that I’ve ever spoken to. He and Gabriel had been inseparable, so I was around him a bit during our high school years.
“They’re really not my in-laws, Gabriel,” I said, hoping my voice was steadier than I felt. “It seems pointless when I’ll be filing for divorce as soon as I talk to someone tomorrow on how to go about it.”
Gabriel folded his muscular arms over his chest, and I could feel my breathing speed up. The man made me feel shamefully weak, and I hated it. Love was supposed to make you feel strong. It was supposed to make you feel like the Wonder Twins activating all the time. Love was supposed to give you a partner who made you feel invincible.
My love for Gabriel just made me feel foolish.
“And what makes you think I’m going to let you divorce me, Justice?” he asked simply, and to the point.
He couldn’t stop me, and no judge would hinder it knowing the marriage was a result of a drunken bender in Las Vegas. “You can’t stop me, Gabe,” I pointed out.
“So, Saturday night when we were fucking on every surface of that hotel room, when you were begging me to fuck you up the ass because no one could ever make you feel the way I do…that was all drunken bullshit?”
I couldn’t stop my body from breaking out in goose bumps. Gabriel was pissed even though his voice was leveled and matter of fact. “No,” I answered, honestly. “You know I’ve never been with anyone else, Gabriel. Youarethe only man who’s ever made me feel…”Horny? Slutty? Like an outright whore?I wasn’t sure which word or phrase I should use to finish that sentence.
His steps were measured and purposeful. Once he was standing in front of me, he asked, “And how about when you told me how much you loved me? How you’ve loved me since we were 16? How you’ll never love anyone else as much as you love me? How about that shit?” he growled. “Was any of that true?”
“Gab-”
“Do you remember our vows?” he asked, interrupting me. “Because I sure the fuck do,” he informed me. I could feel my eyes widening. “Even as drunk as I was, I was still present during our wedding and the reciting of our vows to each other.”
“I…they were just traditional vows, weren’t they?” I asked, feeling like a complete tool.
“Yes, they were,” he confirmed, and before I knew what he was about, Gabriel grabbed me by the throat and pushed me up against the bedroom all on the other side of the door. His hand squeezed around my neck and I wanted to cry with how utterly shameless I was for him. “And as all the old,realtraditional vows go-the ones we used, by the way-we finished off our vows of marriage with ‘tildeathdo us part’.”
“You can’t be serious, Gab-”
“I will only be married once in my life, Justice. And that will be to you,” he snarled. “You’re out of your mind if you think I’m going to let you divorce me, so you can get that thought out of your head right now.”
Fuck it.
