Page 15 of If You Could Only Feel
I didn’t want much. I mean, I had a good supporting job, a nice, clean apartment, a loyal friend…I had more than most. All that was missing was love. That special someone who made me feel safe and important.
All Gabriel made me feel was passion and heartache. It was time to move on from that.
It was all timing when I asked the bartender to please watch my seat and I headed to the restroom to refresh myself.
As soon as I made it inside, my phone rang. Gabriel’s name flashed across the screen and debated answering it. I almost didn’t, but I didn’t want to play games. After six years, we both deserved better than that. “Hello?”
“Where the fuck are you?”
Wow.Talk about having nerve. But I suppose when you grew up as a Buchanan, that nerve was ingrained since birth.
I didn’t know if it was because I was in Vegas, or if it was because the tides were changing and coming to terms with losing Gabriel made me not afraid to lose him anymore, or if it was the tequila shots, the margaritas, or the ambiance, but for the first time in six years, I didn’t let Gabriel call the shots. “You walk out on me and ignore me for four days and then have the nerve to call me and demand to know where I’m at? How about none of your business,” I said, all proud of myself. “That means-in case you missed it-that it’s none of your business where I’m at, Gabriel.”
Was that a growl?“So, help me God, Justice, you better tell me where the fuck you’re at right now!”
And because it’s Las Vegas and going back to the mention of feeling brave, I said, “I’m looking for your replacement. So, if you don’t mind…”
I smiled at myself in the mirror, and even though it was drunk…well, buzzed girl bravery, I was still very proud of myself. Gabriel Buchanan was not going to take me for granted any longer. I was not going to be that pathetic girl; a slave to her love, waiting around for his phone call and scraps of time.
And I was pretty sure Gabriel would be happy to get rid of me. This was his chance to walk away guilt-free and find someone worthy of the Buchanan name and the status that came with it.
“Justice?”
His voice snapped me out of my Olympic Gold moment of bravery. “Yes?”
“I want you to listen to me,” he said, slowly, coldly and deliberately. “I want you to listen, and I want you to listen well.”
My Olympic Gold moment was fading fast. “O...okay,” I eked out.
“I will find you, Justice,” he stated, rather surely. “I will find you and if you’re with another man when I do, he will not make it out knowing you alive. Do you hear me?”
I gasped.
What the hell?
Did Gabriel just threaten tokillsomeone?
“Quit being ridiculous, Gabe,” I whispered into the phone.
“Where the fuck are you, Justice?!”
I wasn’t going to let it be that easy for him. For years he’s never had to put any effort into being with me. He’s never had to take me to dinner, to a movie, buy flowers…anything. If he wanted me now, he was going to have to work for it.
He was going to have to work forme.
“I’ll tell you what, Gabe,” I said, snarkily, because…again, Las Vegas brave while he was in Indiana. “If you can find me by,” I checked the time on my phone, “midnight, I’ll go with you willingly.” I heard another growl. “And by that, I mean I’ll go with you and let you do whatever you want to me.”
Gabriel’s voice was all hardened steel. “I can already do whatever the fuck I want to you,” he reminded me.
It was true. I really couldn’t call him on that. But while we’ve done a lot of stuff, there were still a lot of things we’ve never done before.
It was time to point that out. “True,” I agreed. “But what if I said that if you do find me before midnight, I’ll let you do whatever you want to me,whereveryou want,howeveryou want?”
He was quiet for a few seconds before asking, “Are you drunk, Justice?”
I laughed. His concern might be genuine, but he was a little too late with it for me to care. “Yep, I am,” I told him honestly. “And if you don’t find me by midnight, then I guess I’ll just have to find someone else to benefit from the tequila and my unconditional…conditions.”
“Just-” I hung up on him.
